Week 8 -- Day 3 (again)

3:21 p.m. I still haven't heard from the mortgage company president regarding my job app and interview. I'm so tempted to call her myself and see if she's made a decision yet, but she did tell me that she'd get back to me by the end of the week. I also told her that I was leaving out of town until Friday, so maybe she's keeping that in mind too. All I know is that I really, really want this job. It would be the PERFECT job for me. I'd be processing inspections and be the liaison between the inspector and the president and clients. We'd also get to train in their home base of Florida for a few days. She was concerned that I wouldn't want to go back to work after having the baby, but honestly, I wouldn't be able to AFFORD not going back to work. I would absolutely need to start my job again. I should have told her that, so she would know that working wasn't an option but a necessity. If I don't hear from her by Monday, I'll call her.
So my tummy is REALLY starting to show now. I think I already have to start wearing maternity clothes. My bottoms keep falling down because my stomach is pushing the waist bands over and folding them downwards. It's as if I just woke up one morning and "plop!" my tummy fell out.
Kent and I had a great conversation while walking on the beach today. We discussed our wants and needs and goals in life. I told him that I've been selling myself short. I have so many talents to offer this world, and I'm not harnessing those talents like I should be. Since college, I always knew I wanted to work for animals in some fashion. Moving to Colorado was the best decision I made (and not just because I met my life partner). I was exposed to the rigors of biology and zoology academia and to the daily duties, trials and tribulations (like all the big words!?) at a vet hospital. I LOVED interning at the Colorado State Veterinary Teaching Hospital. Just knowing you made a difference in ONE animal's day makes all the sad stories much less sad. I worked in the oncology department -- cancer -- so I saw the worst of the worst. These animals were mostly terminal. We all knew that on any given month, week, day or even hour, the very animal we've come to fall in love with may pass on. Knowing that made each second there precious. While there, I got to draw blood, run tests, help administer chemo, assess health, take temps, blood pressure, weight, pulse, etc. Each day there was a surprise. I would definitely call being a veterinarian, or even just a vet technician, a high-stress job. But you know what? Who cares. The main reason I shied away from that field was the stress levels, mostly created by the clients. As a vet receptionist at a small clinic, I witnessed clients ripping the vets a new one when their pets didn't get better or there was some sort of mistake. At times the vets ARE to blame, but 90% of the time the "mistakes" were anything but. They were simply acts of God. If God wants Fluffy, God is going to get Fluffy. There's nothing we can do about it. Working in that field also gives you a much, much greater appreciation of life in all of its forms. Treat everyone with respect. Do good for others. Take care of YOURSELF first and foremost. You MUST be selfish. I read an incredible book called, "The Last Lecture," and the author's key point was that one had to be selfish to best serve others. You must take care of your health, well-being and mental state in order to be of any help and value to the people that you love, to strangers, to animals, to your plants -- to anything. To neglect your own sanity is selling yourself short. I don't want to be that person anymore. I have SO many God-given talents that I refuse to let them go to waste.
Kent and I were trying to decide how I could best help my fellow creatures. Law is an excellent path to take for that. Actually, at this point in my life, law is the most logical choice. UT has a great law school that's here in town and law school would require a lot of my time but not nearly as much as vet school. Law school is 100x easier to get into than vet school, so I'd have a better first chance at admission. In fact, vet school is even harder to get into than medical school. Yup. Believe it or not. I guess it gives rise to a new joke: What do you call someone who can't get into vet school? A doctor. Because they end up going to medical school. Get it? Ahh. I was trying a weird spin-off of that joke, "What do you call someone who flunks out of med school? A dentist. Hahaha.
Anyway, I have a new life plan. I don't want to be afraid of success anymore. I guess I'm more afraid of the stress and baggage that comes with success. But I'm not going to let that fear hinder me anymore. I want my child to have a Mom that they can look up to and be proud of and tell their friends, "My Mom takes care of animals for a living." When the child is old enough to understand the complexity of it, he or she can say, "My Mom works full-time with animals AND still has the emotional and physical strength to raise her children and raise them right." I want to be THAT role model. So when I get back to Austin, I'm going to visit the law school and get to applying for the Fall 2010 semester. This will allow me the time to take a year off to get the apartment ready for BQ and be able to spend a few months with BQ, full time, before hitting the books. I plan on advocating for animals as well as trying animal cruelty cases, veterinary malpractice and any other animal-related cases that can be litigated. I can argue that your red pen is blue and get a full jury to believe me. Trust me. Just ask my husband!! This quality serves me well at times, while at others, I just make you want to punch me for arguing moot points. After law school, I'd like to practice for a few years -- 5 to 10 or more -- and then try my hand at vet school. That is my ultimate dream and goal -- to be a veterinarian. I'd like to live out my childhood dream of working for the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta as a veterinary pathologist. Or, I could have a small practice somewhere. Who knows? I'll go where the wind takes us. As long as I'm happy and my family's happy and the bills are paid, food's on the table and we have time for travel, then all will be splendid.