Week 9 -- Day 1 (REDD)

8:49 p.m. I missed two days of writing!! Sorry about that. I was feeling pretty sick the last few days. General fatigue -- really bad fatigue -- nausea, and A LOT of dizziness. I was so dizzy I could hardly walk straight. I read that this was a common pregnancy symptom so I tried not to stress too much about it. But trying to use the computer was awful. The reading made me more dizzy and gave me a migraine. So I apologize for having two empty days.
I'm 9 wks today! This time it's for real. No more changing due dates. My dad saw me yesterday and couldn't believe that I was already showing. He was also amazed at how big the baby had gotten. I'm going to try and post a picture to my blog, because I want everyone to be able to see my ultrasound photo. I have it up on Facebook but I don't know how many of you guys use it. It's a little more difficult to use than Myspace but it's a lot more professional. It also has really neat applications that you can download and use. I have one called VisualBookshelf that lets you post pictures of books that you've read, are reading or want to read. It's really neat if you want to share with other people or just look smart! I'm currently reading Callisto. It's about a not-so-intelligent rural boy that winds up in this twisted CIA terrorist plot when his car breaks down. Highly entertaining reading. I also just finished the inspiring book, The Last Lecture, and the extremely comical book, Bonk. Both are highly recommended. Okay! Now that I've gone off on my little book spiel, it's time to get back to blogging.
I've had such extreme writer's block lately. I hate it. It's like I'm trying to censor myself so as not to piss off anyone, but I don't want to censor myself too much to where I sound emotionless, you know? I like to think of my blog as sort of my PG rated dairy. Anyway...
Kent and I walked around Concordia University yesterday. It's right behind our apartment complex. It's a beautiful, Christian campus. They really tried to keep the grounds very natural and used granite and wood for the buildings. All you can smell is the cedar wood out there and there's a lot of trees and shade. Very peaceful. Kent and I picked up some pamphlets about their programs. I wouldn't mind looking into a master's degree of some sort. I think Kent wants to do the same. Look into it, that is. Neither one of us practice any certain religion but we're both spiritual. We believe in a higher God who wants us to lead the best lives we can lead for ourselves and others. We were taught to be accepting and tolerant of people who are unlike us. We both have pretty similar beliefs.
The campus was so Zen-like that I couldn't help but wonder if anyone ever meditates there and if so, if the faculty gets upset. I'd like to think that a Christian campus would be tolerant of everyone, but you never know.
I exercised for a total of an hour and a half yesterday. I was so proud of myself. I can't even remember the last time I exercised that much. I did a mixture of walking outside and on the treadmill, and using the stationery bike and weight machines. I plan on doing that for 5 to 6 days a week. I'm also signing up for this study that a doctor is doing on exercise and pregnancy. It's being put out by a doctor who works at the same clinic as my ob/gyn. We will be exercising three days a week for an hour and doing yoga. Yay! I'm very excited.
I'm going to put on my running gear. I'll be back.

Week 8 -- Day 5 (revised estimated due date, or redd)

11:19 p.m. I'm going to start putting "revised estimated due date or REDD" after the next few days so as not to confuse these new postings with old ones when I thought I was on the right week.
My day is going great so far. Woke up early, had a healthy egg scramble -- I need to start eating much healthier since I've been stuffing my face with sugar-laden foods -- and did 15 minutes of aerobic exercise -- 10 on the treadmill and 5 on the stationery bike. That stationery bike is a workout! I was so surprised that my legs were burning after only 3 minutes of pedaling. Well, I did want to get my thighs toned. I've noticed that my fat is going mainly to my thighs and belly, which is strange because my weight hardly ever goes to my thighs. I guess it's all part of my mid-section growing to accommodate BQ. I also noticed that my growing uterus has pinched a nerve running down my right leg. It's so annoying!
I think -- and I don't want to jinx it -- but I think Kent has some great potential for this job interview tomorrow. He took a security training course with a group called Blackstone and is now Texas Dept. of Public Safety certified to work with security companies. He emailed a group called Sentry yesterday and already heard back from them. They told him right off the bat that they could get him 40 to 45 hours plus overtime per week right away if he was the right man for the job -- and I believe he is. He has so much experience in that field that to not hire him would be a huge mistake. I'm so proud of Kent. He's been working his ass off since he was hired with the city of Austin. He already has a meeting with someone from another security company tomorrow, so I'm sure between those two interviews he'll come back with good news. Please everyone, keep your fingers crossed for us -- or you can pray if that's your thing too. I like to do both. Although I'm not one of those people who prays only when they want something. I like to pray to simply thank God for giving me another day on this earth. I wouldn't say I'm a religious person, just spiritual.
BQ is doing great today. She's making me a bit bloated but I can take care of that with small diet changes. I think I shall relax the rest of the day and read. Maybe read to BQ? I read that reading to your baby in the womb actually stimulates their little brain and becomes somewhat of a comfort thing for them once they're born. Apparently, once the baby is born, she'll associate the reading with being in the comfort of the womb, thus creating a relaxing time period for her. I don't have many baby books so maybe I'll just talk to her. I also read that spending some quite time with your hand on your belly also makes for good bonding. I think it's so neat to be able to bond with my baby already.
I applied for an editorial assistant position with a publishing company that puts out educational children's books. I received a follow-up email immediately that said they would start reviewing apps in mid-September. At least I have a time line. Not like some companies that tell you they will call and then just leave you hanging. The world has gone and turned completely impersonal lately. I can't stand it sometimes.
I'm going to cook some salmon, sweet potatoes and a fruit salad tonight. Yum. Take care fellow followers.

Week 9 -- Day 2 -- really Week 8 -- Day 4

9:15 p.m. I'm so PISSED off that they changed my pregnancy due date again. I mean it's not really that big of a deal, but I hate thinking I'm in one week of pregnancy and my baby is forming at a certain stage and then I find out that I'm really not that far along. My doc did an ultrasound again and the baby was HUGE in comparison to when I had an ultrasound at 6 wks. The doctor was able to get a better look at the size of the baby and determined that I was only 8 wks and 4 days instead of 9 wks and 2 days. She said that this would be the LAST time she revised my due date. She's been a little absent-minded the past couple of times I went to see her, so I really hope she isn't screwing up or she doesn't decide to change my due date a third time!! She had great recommendations and also delivered my cousin, so I'm trusting my aunt on this one.
The baby has fully formed appendages now. I THINK I could make out her feet, ear and heart, but it was pretty difficult to tell one thing from another. You can check out the picture on my Facebook account. I'm going to start adding photos to my blog also so you guys can keep visual tabs on BQ (Baby Quack). I hate to leave so soon but I'm falling asleep! I will write more tomorrow. G'nite.

Week 8 -- Day 2

11:18 p.m. Baby's going to the doctor today! I'm not sure, but I think they might do another ultrasound. I hope they do. The baby is the size of a large grape or olive now. She's starting grow ears and a nose and her eyelids almost completely cover her eyes. Her feet and hands are fully formed (no more flippers!) and she's starting to grow baby teeth. Wow! Her sex has already been determined, but her "parts" are still too small to definitively say if it's a he or she. I'm still calling her Vada for now.
I gained another four freakin' pounds in the past couple of days. I couldn't believe it when I weighed myself last night. It must be all those DQ Blizzards I've been eating. I've been having desserts at least twice a day. I need to cut that out. Of course I'm not going to deprive myself -- that just leads to overindulgence -- but I'm not going to scarf down a whole pie either. MMM! Cherry pie sounds great right now.
I need to get ready for my appt. I'll be back.

Week 9 -- Day 1

5:27 p.m. Holy crap, my back hurts! I've only added 5 lbs and already my lower back is hurting. I don't think my three bulging discs help any either.
I sliced about 1/6 of my finger off today, so if my typing sucks, that's why. I was cutting out marriage/pregnancy announcements with an Exacto knife and I sliced right through the outside part of my index finger like I was cutting a slice of bread. I cut off a huge chunk of my fat pad and a small part of my nail. I went to the urgent care b/c I couldn't get the bleeding to stop, but they wouldn't take me b/c I haven't received my insurance card yet. Out-of-pocket pay would have been $350+. Can you believe that!? And we're talking about urgent care, not even an ER. I told the receptionist that I couldn't pay that and I'd figure something out. Perfect example why we need health care reform. I left there fuming mad. So here I am with a gaping hole in my finger. They wouldn't have been able to stitch it anyway because the skin was essentially shaved right off. I might need to get some medical supplies feom Walgreens. I've already used a bunch of gauze and band-aids. It's amazing how much you take your appendages for granted until you can't use one of them. On the flip side, it's amazing how much your body can adapt. I've only been typing without my finger for about 45 min and my body already knows where to put my middle finger on the keyboard. Pretty neat stuff!
I'm 9 wks today! Woah!! I tried on some cute brown maternity pants -- capris -- and wore them out today. They actually fit! I also wore a little baseball top. It looked super cute. I love my little belly and I can't wait to start showing more. Being pregnant is actually pretty nice. You get a lot of special treatment and pampering and you constantly want to talk about and prepare for your new baby. I think I've looked at her pile of clothes at least 5 times in the past 3 wks. I'm just going to start using her name, Vada, from now on. I can take an over-the-counter gender test from Walgreens, but it's not completely accurate. It's called Intelligender. Two of my friends took it -- one turned out to be right and the other one didn't.
Okay, my back is really hurting. I'm going to take a break.
Ciao!

Week 8 -- Day 7

10:12 p.m. Went to Wal-Mart this morning and bought some more stuff for our marriage/pregnancy announcements. My Mom thought it was proper to send out pregnancy announcements separately, and maybe it is, but I really don't think the cards look bad with the added, "Baby Quackenbush is expected on March 30, 2010." We also included an insert describing what were up to nowadays.
Today we're going to get the crib!! WOW! We don't have a mattress for it, but that will have to wait. I already want to set it up!! We also looked at paint colors for the room. I initially didn't want to live in this apartment complex after the lease runs out in February, but the more days go by, the better I like this place.
I need to print out some cards. I'll be back in awhile.

Week 8 -- Day 6

4:08 p.m. OH MY GOD! I am eating THE BEST sushi right now. Don't worry. It's COOKED sushi. Although cooked sushi sounds a bit oxymoronic, doesn't it? I just went shopping at H.E.B. (Texas' local grocery store), and I practically bought everything I saw. Going shopping while hungry is bad enough but combine that with being pregnant! NEVER take a pregnant woman grocery shopping! I decided to stock up as if we were heading into a nuclear winter. Lots of fruit, veggies, dairy products, juice and a lot of frozen foods. I also bought some printer ink for our just-finished wedding and pregnancy announcements. I swear, we've been working on those things since February! I just never found the patience to crank out a card on my Hallmark Card Studio software. It's really not all that hard, but I kept running in to problem after problem. First, the software wasn't compatible with Mac, so I had to set up this thing called Bootcamp that allows you to run Windows on a Mac. Then I realized that I couldn't print anything while in Windows because I needed to install the right printer driver for the Windows OS. So I spent days searching for the HP printer CD. When I finally found it, the Windows OS wouldn't detect the CD. By this time I was ready to call it quits. I finally found a way around it (or so I thought) by saving the card as a PDF and then opening the application on the Mac side. Only that wouldn't allow me to print my card in any other size but 8.5 by 11. FINALLY, I found a Mac compatible card program called Smilebox, which is actually really neat and highly recommended, and I was able to print out the cards on 5 x 7 paper. YAY! The cards turned out really nice. In fact, I may just post it on Facebook for all to see.
I flaked out on my post yesterday. We were busy ALL day. In the morning, we had to clean up the beach house; then we spent 5 hours driving from South Padre island to Austin; then we had to unpack and eat din-din; then we finally went to sleep. So I apologize to my much-loved followers. :) I weighed myself when I got home, and I gained 5 lbs!! Holy cheese balls! I'm supposed to be gaining 4 lbs every month after the first trimester. The pregnancy literature didn't say anything about the first trimester though. If anyone knows, feel free to shoot me an email at laurenrquack@yahoo.com, or you can just leave me a comment.
Kent and I have decided on baby names. We were having trouble picking between Ava or Vada (VAY-DUH), which happens to be the name of Kent's great-aunt, but we finally settled on Vada after I polled the audience. I posted a poll on Babycenter.com and Vada won by a landslide! A lot of the girls pointed out that Vada was very spunky, unique, and hip and would be the perfect name for a strong and confident woman. I figured that strong and confident most definitely will describe our little girl, so Vada it is! Her middle name will be Rae after my middle name and my dad, Rey.
If the baby is a boy, we want to name him Sean, after Kent's little brother. To tell you the truth, we really didn't have a huge selection of boy names that we were picking from. I liked the names Robert, Mark and Paul but Kent and I couldn't agree on those, so he suggested Sean and it stuck! His middle name will be Foster, after Kent's middle name and his daddy's. The first-born boy in the oldest Quackenbush son's family gets the middle name Foster. It's a family name, supposedly. So there you have it, folks! Vada Rae Quackenbush or Sean Foster Quackenbush. My only concern about Vada is that it's such a unique name being put with an already unique last name. One person on Baby Center said that the name Vada Quackenbush sounded too "cartoony." I can see how she would think that, but I still think it's a beautiful name. She's going to be teased anyway with the last name Quackenbush. Kids are just cruel. On the flip side, someone else also pointed out that if we named her Ava, a VERY POPULAR name, her last name would have to be used more often to distinguish her from the other Avas. So I guess each name has its good and bad points. No matter what, we're going to raise our child to have confidence in him or herself and to try not to be consumed by what other people think. I know...it's a lot easier said than done.
Well, what do you guys think about the names? Comments? Suggestions? Time for me to take the Frannie dog out for a walk. Cheers!

Week 8 -- Day 4

5:19 p.m. I'm so confused. I published a "Week 8 -- Day 4" post earlier this morning and now it's not showing it. It was showing the post earlier? :(
Well we've had a great day today. Went to the beach early in the morning around 8:30 or 9 and splashed in the waves and went shell hunting again. We walked a good 3/4 mile or so. Ah, maybe not that much, but we walked a good ways. Later on in the day we went to Dairy Queen to eat and then home to swim in the pool. All in all it was a relaxing day.
My aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa and dad are coming over in about 30 minutes. We're all going to eat dinner together at some restaurant across the street. I'm STARVING!
Lately I've been so hungry that I stuff my face and get full too quickly. I hate it! I'll be about 1/4 of a way through my meal and before I know it, I can't finish it. It's almost as if my belly's already too full with Baby Quack (even though she's only the size of a kidney bean) to stuff anything else in there. I've been so bloated the past few days. It's an awful feeling.
We have to leave back home tomorrow. I'm guessing we'll take the Fran for a beach walk early a.m. and then head out around 12 or so. I can't wait to get back and see the kitties. I miss them! I'm going to make an appointment to visit the law school and then give that mortgage lady a call to see how she's coming on the job apps. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if she turns me down. I know I can always keep looking for a job, which I will if I don't get hired, but it's just so disappointing to get turned down. I can call other court reporters as well to see if they need a good proofreader/transcriber. As a matter of fact, I'm going to look on Craigslist right now for jobs. See ya!

Week 8 -- Day 3 (again)

3:21 p.m. I still haven't heard from the mortgage company president regarding my job app and interview. I'm so tempted to call her myself and see if she's made a decision yet, but she did tell me that she'd get back to me by the end of the week. I also told her that I was leaving out of town until Friday, so maybe she's keeping that in mind too. All I know is that I really, really want this job. It would be the PERFECT job for me. I'd be processing inspections and be the liaison between the inspector and the president and clients. We'd also get to train in their home base of Florida for a few days. She was concerned that I wouldn't want to go back to work after having the baby, but honestly, I wouldn't be able to AFFORD not going back to work. I would absolutely need to start my job again. I should have told her that, so she would know that working wasn't an option but a necessity. If I don't hear from her by Monday, I'll call her.
So my tummy is REALLY starting to show now. I think I already have to start wearing maternity clothes. My bottoms keep falling down because my stomach is pushing the waist bands over and folding them downwards. It's as if I just woke up one morning and "plop!" my tummy fell out.
Kent and I had a great conversation while walking on the beach today. We discussed our wants and needs and goals in life. I told him that I've been selling myself short. I have so many talents to offer this world, and I'm not harnessing those talents like I should be. Since college, I always knew I wanted to work for animals in some fashion. Moving to Colorado was the best decision I made (and not just because I met my life partner). I was exposed to the rigors of biology and zoology academia and to the daily duties, trials and tribulations (like all the big words!?) at a vet hospital. I LOVED interning at the Colorado State Veterinary Teaching Hospital. Just knowing you made a difference in ONE animal's day makes all the sad stories much less sad. I worked in the oncology department -- cancer -- so I saw the worst of the worst. These animals were mostly terminal. We all knew that on any given month, week, day or even hour, the very animal we've come to fall in love with may pass on. Knowing that made each second there precious. While there, I got to draw blood, run tests, help administer chemo, assess health, take temps, blood pressure, weight, pulse, etc. Each day there was a surprise. I would definitely call being a veterinarian, or even just a vet technician, a high-stress job. But you know what? Who cares. The main reason I shied away from that field was the stress levels, mostly created by the clients. As a vet receptionist at a small clinic, I witnessed clients ripping the vets a new one when their pets didn't get better or there was some sort of mistake. At times the vets ARE to blame, but 90% of the time the "mistakes" were anything but. They were simply acts of God. If God wants Fluffy, God is going to get Fluffy. There's nothing we can do about it. Working in that field also gives you a much, much greater appreciation of life in all of its forms. Treat everyone with respect. Do good for others. Take care of YOURSELF first and foremost. You MUST be selfish. I read an incredible book called, "The Last Lecture," and the author's key point was that one had to be selfish to best serve others. You must take care of your health, well-being and mental state in order to be of any help and value to the people that you love, to strangers, to animals, to your plants -- to anything. To neglect your own sanity is selling yourself short. I don't want to be that person anymore. I have SO many God-given talents that I refuse to let them go to waste.
Kent and I were trying to decide how I could best help my fellow creatures. Law is an excellent path to take for that. Actually, at this point in my life, law is the most logical choice. UT has a great law school that's here in town and law school would require a lot of my time but not nearly as much as vet school. Law school is 100x easier to get into than vet school, so I'd have a better first chance at admission. In fact, vet school is even harder to get into than medical school. Yup. Believe it or not. I guess it gives rise to a new joke: What do you call someone who can't get into vet school? A doctor. Because they end up going to medical school. Get it? Ahh. I was trying a weird spin-off of that joke, "What do you call someone who flunks out of med school? A dentist. Hahaha.
Anyway, I have a new life plan. I don't want to be afraid of success anymore. I guess I'm more afraid of the stress and baggage that comes with success. But I'm not going to let that fear hinder me anymore. I want my child to have a Mom that they can look up to and be proud of and tell their friends, "My Mom takes care of animals for a living." When the child is old enough to understand the complexity of it, he or she can say, "My Mom works full-time with animals AND still has the emotional and physical strength to raise her children and raise them right." I want to be THAT role model. So when I get back to Austin, I'm going to visit the law school and get to applying for the Fall 2010 semester. This will allow me the time to take a year off to get the apartment ready for BQ and be able to spend a few months with BQ, full time, before hitting the books. I plan on advocating for animals as well as trying animal cruelty cases, veterinary malpractice and any other animal-related cases that can be litigated. I can argue that your red pen is blue and get a full jury to believe me. Trust me. Just ask my husband!! This quality serves me well at times, while at others, I just make you want to punch me for arguing moot points. After law school, I'd like to practice for a few years -- 5 to 10 or more -- and then try my hand at vet school. That is my ultimate dream and goal -- to be a veterinarian. I'd like to live out my childhood dream of working for the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta as a veterinary pathologist. Or, I could have a small practice somewhere. Who knows? I'll go where the wind takes us. As long as I'm happy and my family's happy and the bills are paid, food's on the table and we have time for travel, then all will be splendid.

Week 8 -- Day 3

1:46 p.m. Sitting at the beach house and couldn't be happier! Kent and I rolled in yesterday evening and have been basking in the sun ever since. We took the Fran out for a walk last night and this morning. She loves the ocean! Kent said this was her first time visiting an ocean. She's been to lakes before but never an ocean. Fran was a little afraid of the crashing waves at first, but she quickly got used to them and began frolicking away. Such a cute doggie! We let her off the leash and she went WILD! She was sprinting back and forth and scaring people, haha. Of course she didn't mean to scare anyone but imagine a 60 lb. strange dog running at you full force. That's gotta be at least a tiny bit scary.
I am EXHAUSTED right now. We went for a good 1 to 2 mile walk and played in the waves for awhile. We spent about three hours in the hot sun. Now I just need a nap and a Blizzard. Kent is making his way to Dairy Queen as we speak. When I get my cravings I need them satisfied NOW! Haha. Well, okay, I'm not that bad, but I still try and get whatever food I'm craving. Supposedly it's your body's natural way of telling you what it's lacking. I guess I'm lacking calcium? I read that it's not a bad idea to have yogurt or low-fat ice cream every day. That's excellent news for me since I already need an ice cream fix at least once a week.
BQ is the size of a kidney bean now. Almost an inch long. I believe I already explained in a previous blog what's going on with her body. We saw an actual picture of an 8 wk old fetus and it's starting to look like a baby now. The head is still a bit alien-ish but the arms and legs are visible as are the eyes.
Gotta go! I'll write more tonight.

Week 8 -- Day 2

5:41 p.m.! I'm an early birdie today. I woke up at 5 and felt like my blood sugar was crashing. My body was super weak again and I felt like I could hardly move. I'm too scared to fall back asleep so I'll just have a glass of OJ and get an early start to the day.
I saw a picture of a 3D ultrasound of an 8 wk old fetus. She's starting to look like a real baby now! The fetus had arms and legs and was wiggling around a lot. Supposedly the baby is already moving her little webbed fingers and toes also. That's amazing. My uterus is the size of a grapefruit now, which explains why I have a baby bump already with a raspberry sized baby. Yes, it's the size of a raspberry now, more or less.
So not much has happened today yet. Going to my psychiatrist this morning to pick up more "happy" pills that he put me on. The medication, Zyprexa, was a serious life saver. It's safe to take when pregnant and it got me out of my funk in days. I'm supposed to stay on it for a couple more weeks until my old medicine (the one I initially weened of of) kicks in. Not a problem with me.
After the doc, we're headed straight for la playa.
Well, just wanted to check in. I'll be back.

Week 8 -- Day 1

3:07 p.m. I'm eight weeks today and still only weigh 120 lbs. Wow. The only place growing is my belly, so it's really weird to not be gaining much weight and still have trouble fitting into my clothes. i'm up to a size 4! for me, that's crazy. i'm used to wearing a size 1 or 2 pants. so jane, if you're reading this, i'm a size 4 now and medium top. :)
i went to sears today with my mom so they could buy us a washer and dryer. it's their "baby" gift to us. i really wanted those front loading ones that come in all these different cool colors, but they were too big for our laundry closet. oh well. beggars can't be choosers, huh? i'm just thankful that we're getting a washer and dryer (thanks mom and dad!) so we can clean up after baby quack spits up her food. oh yeah, i bought a baby rattle today that's in the shape of a stuffed ducky. the duck's belly is the rattle part. so cute! it's the baby einstein brand. i'm going to try and get as many baby einstein toys as possible. who knows if they really make your kid smarter but i'm going to do as much as i can to get her little brain cranking. i'm a member of babycenter. com -- great site by the way for anyone who wants to learn about babies/pregnancy -- and it sends you emails with coupons and stuff. i got a coupon for seven free baby einstein books. you just have to pay the shipping fee. there's A LOT of freebies and discounts from that site. i'm gonna go to town when bq is born. bq! that's her new nickname. Baby Quack = BQ.
we're FINALLY leaving to the beach tomorrow! YAY! i cannot wait to find myself lying in the cool sand, listening to the waves and seagulls and hunting for sand dollars. i'm going to pack a lot of books and mags to read over there, and i'll make sure to pack my computer so i can blog and check my emails.
i hope to god i get this job i applied for to work with a mortgage company. it sounds like a simple job that pays well and allows for lots o' overtime. i'll be able to show up to work in shorts and a t-shirt because i'll be one of 5 to 7 employees who will be working out of a small office. we will be the liason between the inspector and the president, i believe. all i know is that we ARE NOT the face of the company -- the president is. so according to her, we won't have to dress up all fancy shmancy for work. this is the PERFECT job for me while i go through my pregnancy. she was a little concerned that i wouldn't want to go back to work once the baby is born, so that's really the only thing in regards to the job that may be a detriment. i wrote her a thank you letter and reiterated how much i wanted the job, not to mention NEED the job, so i'm just waiting on her to write back or call. she said she'd make a decision by the end of the week. but then she also said that she's having her assistant email formal applications and that she'd be touch with me after i turn it in. i'm just so ANXIOUS to find out. i already want to call her and see what's going on. patience is a virtue.
so i tried on some shorts today to wear to the mall, and i couldn't fit into them! not even my FAT shorts! i can still wear my workout shorts, but i wanted to look cute today. it's really refreshing to have a new body shape start to form even if it causes your clothes to get tighter. i've always been a curvy girl but with the baby bump comes even more curves for me. i say why not flaunt it if ya got it? i mean, i won't be out there looking like a street walker or anything, but there's nothing wrong with wearing a cute, form-fitting dress or nice top and bottoms. and since i got that pregnancy glow going on (seriously, everyone i see is amazed about how much i'm "glowing." i wonder what causes that?), i might as well bring it out with fun outfits. haha. "fun." if you knew me, i don't think you'd call any of my outfits "fun." i'm a very, very simple girl when it comes to fashion. i don't do flashy or fashionable for that matter. if it's ugly but in style, don't even bother buying it. i'd rather wear something dignified and 10 years old than something "in" but flat out hideous. this is why my mom used to never be able to shop for me. she's actually more in style than i am! i gotta say that my mom does have great taste for any other girl on this planet but me. she's starting to get a feel though of what i'd wear and not wear. my clothes are mostly earthy colors. i don't like logos or lots of designs on my shirts and i'll only wear a dress or skirt if it doesn't have ruffles and isn't made of spandex. my favorite brands are what you'd call "outdoorsy." i like prana, life's good, horny toad, north face, underarmour, patagonia, you get my drift. stuff you'd find at REI or any other outdoors store. i usually just wear workout shorts and a t-shirt or tank top. so...there ya have it. i don't know why i just went off on that clothing tangent. so if you decide to buy me clothes for whatever reason, there ya go. hope it was helpful! :)
this week, the baby's brain will be rapidly developing neural pathways. i better bulk up on that folic acid! she's growing lungs and teeny tiny webbed hands and feet -- her flippers! kent has flippers still. he's a fish. so it's no surprise that BQ is growing flippers too. :) her eyelids just about cover her eyeballs now (which, by the way, have color already) and she's about the size of a kidney bean. i hope she gets my husbands eyes. his eyes are gorgeous and mesmerizing. i wouldn't mind her getting my eyes either, it's just that mine tend to change from dark hazel to brown while kent's change from light hazel to blue. he insists that they aren't blue, but i've seen them blue before. so have my parents. so there! again, if you want to read up on what's happening to bq, it's babycenter.com.
i gotta balance the checkbook today. augh. <---random thought
i had a dream last night that a) i saw our daughter as a 7 year old, and b) she quickly turned into a newborn.
my husband and i were on a spaceship again -- i've been having space dreams almost every night lately. i wonder what that symbolizes, if anything? anyway, we were on a spaceship and some woman told me that my daughter was waiting for me. it was as if she had been taken care of by someone else, and i was just now seeing her for the first time. she was adorable! she had olive colored skin like mine, light brown eyes, and light brown hair that was in pig tails. she had my nose and mouth and kent's eyes and forehead. it was great. i could even feel that special connection between us. in my dream, i was crying and crying tears of joy. seconds later she turned into a newborn in a swaddling blanket and i was carrying her. it was one of the best dreams i've ever had. i was telling my mom about the dream, and i started thinking that wouldn't it be really weird if she ended up looking like that when she's seven? i didn't see too much of her as a baby, so i can't really say what she'd look like. i think she just looked like your typical newborn -- a little wrinkly, a pinkish with her eyes shut tight.
i'm gonna take a napsie. my eyes are getting heavy. that pregnancy fatigue is a killer, i tell ya.

Week 7 -- Day 7!!!

1:52 p.m. I think I felt the baby! My mom told me that there comes a point when you start feeling butterflies in your tummy. a.k.a. the baby. i swear i felt her last night! i was sitting on the couch with kent, and we were looking at old photos of his, and i swear i felt something floating around in there. i'm not really sure what you're supposed to feel when you feel the baby for the first time, so it could have been gas for all i know. hahaha. but it sure as hell felt like something. even today, i can feel something in there. it HAS to be baby quack. i've been eating like a savage beast today! i'm hoping that the nausea has passed and the hunger is now kicking in. i'm going to start a weight chart today until the end of my pregnancy so i can get an average weight gain per week. today i weighed in at 120.8 lbs in the morning. we'll check again at night. it's only 2 pm and so far i've eaten 2 waffles, one jumbo can of chef boyardee ravioli with two cheese slices on top, a mozzarella cheese stick and two bratwursts with honey mustard, and tonight, i'm making my famous cream cheese lasagna. yeah you read right. CREAM CHEESE. it's delicious and ever so fattening. pregnant eating is the best. no worries. and i haven't been eating unhealthy stuff either. sure, i have my share of ice cream and candy but it's nothing drastic. we'll see if i don't throw up tonight from all this food. there's a seattles best coffee, coffee drink that i absolutely love. it's an oreo coffee shake. the only seattles best coffee in austin is way down south about 35 minutes away. i was craving one so bad earlier that i almost made the foolish decision to drive down south and get one. i say foolish because a) that's a waste of gas b) it's a waste of time -- over an hour for a small drink, and c) it's a waste of money. i can buy the ingredients at the store for the same price of a drink. so needless to say, i'll be headed out to HEB today for some goods. gotta shuffle through my coupon file folder for some discounts. i never thought id be one to clip coupons or, heaven forbid, scan the coupon kiosk at the store, but kent and i have been coupon king and queen lately. clipping coupons is just part of being financially savvy. why spend $200 on groceries when you can save $30+ ? i guess if i were real lazy and had tons of disposable income then i wouldn't care. alright. im headed out to the store. i'll be back. good thing i ate beforehand. going to the store hungry is financial suicide!

Week 7 -- Day 6

2:17 p.m. Went swimming today at the apartment pool. Had a nice and relaxing workout but got my heart rate going pretty good. Kent taught me the butterfly. That's a tiring stroke! I did mostly freestyle the whole time except for a few laps of backstroke. Probably swam a little over 200 yards I'd say. I hope the baby liked the water. :)
The apartment was having a Belgian waffle brunch today, so we stopped in to check things out. Great food but we didn't eat waffles, just eggs and sausage. There were three waffle machines and they were all being used. Oh well. It was just nice to have some good grub after a workout. We felt like we were at a resort spa being fed and pampered. Two more days until we set off for South Padre. I can't wait. We're gonna get up early and walk with Fran on the beach and watch the sunrise. I'd like to get some exercise in at our pool too. My parents own a beach house there, so that's where we'll be staying. Oh I wish we could live at the beach for months on end. I can't get enough of that salt water and cool breeze. The beach is my "calm place." Whenever I'm really nervous or stressed about something, I like to think of myself lying on the soft sand with the wind blowing through my hair and the sound of the sea lapping against the shore. It's my utopia.
Kent and I are "nesting" right now. He just set up the desk in our office and we're starting to put up pictures and stuff. I finally feel like we're settling down in our place.

Week 7 -- Day 5

5:19 p.m. AWESOME day today! Woke up early, cleaned up a bit around the house, had a great job interview for a mortgage company and then went to tarjay (target) for a new wardrobe. i know i'm not quite showing yet -- well, to kent and my parents i am, but if you've never seen me, i don't think you would think i was pregnant -- but i'll need to have some maternity clothes stashed away for the future. i read on babycenter.com that when you hit seven weeks, you should start taking photos of yourself each month because you start popping out fairly quickly. i'll probably take photos each week though because a month from now is too long to wait! boy, i can't believe how fast time is flying. my mom and i scoped out the cribs today at target as well. so cute! my aunt sylvia offered to purchase the crib for us and i couldn't be more thankful. actually, my entire family has been just wonderful with my pregnancy. i'll have lots o' helping hands when the little tike plops out. (haha, "plop." i WISH it were that easy!) anyway, i found a nice espresso colored crib that folds out into a daybed and eventually a full bed when the time comes. gees. i couldn't stop staring at the crib and thinking about how it will eventually be my daughter's bed when she hits the right age. what is the appropriate age to sleep in a bed anyways? 4? 5? i would think 3 is still too young right? hmm. i sure as hell can't remember when i started sleeping in a bed. well, actually i remember being in a bed when i was in kindergarten, so i must have been what? five years old? yeah i think that sounds right. my mom and i also checked out the baby blankets and shoes and stuff. the little duck already has her first pair of shoes. they're white with stripes on the sides like big kid adidas. they're adorable! they also have a picture of a little train on the sides. i told kent that i didn't see why we couldn't put train shoes on a girl. those shoes were the first baby thing that kent and i bought. they've been hanging from my rear view mirror for months now. in regards to outfits, i'm not what you would call a "girly girl." i never have been and never will be. i'm your average down-to-earth, likes to get dirty but cleans up nice type of person. i told kent that i didn't want to dress baby quack in pink frilly stuff. i want her to wear fashionable stripes and animals and teddy bear things. so far, her wardrobe is sticking with that style -- earthy. pretty greens and blues and yellows and whites and grays. we laughed about how our baby was going to be sexually confused if it turned out to be a boy because we've been calling it she this whole time! i took a sociology of gender class back in high school, and they touched on the way parents "shape" their children since birth into being the typical guy or girl. parents will buy the boy trucks and legos and footballs and give the girl tutus and barbies and play kitchen sets. kent and i want to expose our children to all types of toys. i mean i wouldn't buy my son a barbie doll to play dress up with or anything, but i'd definitely be okay if he wanted to play "chef" or something. same goes with the girl. if she wanted a train set then hey, more power to her, right? i had a train set and lincoln logs and a big wheel when i was growing up and i couldn't have been a happier child.
i tried on some maternity clothes today. they have such cute and inexpensive stuff at target. i made out like a bandit, or rather, my parents made out like bandits. they were so generous to offer to buy me some new clothes. i was just going to use my "fat" clothes for when i started to show but this is even better! i couldn't believe that they actually had x-smalls in the maternity section. i guess that makes sense though. there has to be short, petite women out there like me who are pregnant. even 4'10" women! i saw a really, really short woman today at magnolia (a really delicious local restaurant) who looked like she weighed about 200 lbs! i felt bad because i couldn't stop staring at her. all i could think of though was "dear god! i hope i don't gain a lot of weight. i don't want to accumulate that much fat on my body!" so far all the weight has been mainly in my stomach. i read in a book by jenny mccarthy, which was surprisingly funny and semi-intelligent, that the first few pounds you gain and the "baby bump" you get are really a baby cushion around your uterus. i'm lucking out that the fat seems to be going all towards the baby cushion and not to my face, arms and back. whew! time to eat! (hahaha.)
i'm starving. gotta go eat.

Week 7 -- Day 4

7:29 p.m. Holy cow! I have got to say that my eating is outta control today! I've definitely taken down a lot of food. And I finally got to eat sushi! Vegetarian that is. I can eat sushi for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It's such a bummer that I can't have any while...Kent's here! Gotta go.

Week 7 -- Day 3

4:43 pm. Late start to the day! I woke up at 6:30 a.m. to the sound of my husband going through a stack of newspapers. I know, I'm a terribly light sleeper. I tried with all my might to gather myself and prepare to make a cup of coffee, but no dice. I was just too sleepy. I awoke later to the sound of my dog crying because she had to use the potty. It was now 10:30!! Geez! I hate getting up late. I felt great again this morning. I was motivated, energized, and most importantly HAPPY. I cannot stress to you enough how important it is to get help if you're feeling unreasonably blue. My doctor is great, and I know I can always count on him to answer my tough questions and help me get through this life-changing experience. Talk to your health providers, talk to your family and friends, write down your thoughts...just get help! Too many people fall by the wayside these days out of fear or pride. And I digress again...
I spent most of the day taking care of a change to our health insurance plan. We want to make sure we get the best coverage possible for our baby (obviously). My nausea had dissipated yesterday and I was hoping it would stay that way, but it returned today. I can't complain though. It hasn't been too bad. We got a card in the mail today from the Richmonds, Kent's cousins. One of his cousins just had a baby. She's adorable! It seems like it's raining babies lately. Four of my friends are pregnant and one just had a baby in late June. I guess we're all growing up! It's funny how you always wonder who you're going to marry, when you're going to have a baby, etc. Back when I was a teenager, I used to talk about how weird it was that my spouse was out there in this world doing his own thing and living his own life and someday, we're going to run into each other, fall in love and start a family. Well...I found him! I always knew I wanted to marry my soul mate, I'm just so lucky that I actually did. I went through a few relationships there with people I knew weren't my soul mates and I began to fear that I would just have to "settle." Whew! I'm so glad I followed my heart. Kent is my best friend, soul mate and SO much more. And now we're going to raise a child together. Weird, wild stuff! I'm craving shrimp right now. Mmmm. Gosh, I feel so weird right now. Do you ever have these days or moments when you just feel like you're living in a dream-like state? Everything feels cloudy and you're head feels like it's full of fluff? Haha. That's how I feel right now. I don't like it! My parents came to visit us last night. That was really nice of them considering it's a 20 min. drive from where they live in Central Austin. I had been craving cupcakes from this little cupcake stand, so my Mom and Dad bought us four different cupcakes and made a treat delivery! Alright, I'm going to watch the news. I'll try and be back later tonight. See ya!

Week 7 -- Day 2 (?)

8:33 a.m. I'm starting to lose track of the days! I think it's day two, it might be day three. Well, it's week seven that's for sure. I just read a comment from my in-law's friend, Pop. I almost cried! Everything makes me cry now. I've always been an extremely passionate person, but as far as crying goes, I never cried unless I was really, really upset. I'm crying at sappy commercials now! Thanks for the kind words, Pop. So far, we've had offers to buy a crib, changing table and wardrobe for Baby Quack. You should see her little onesies so far. She's gonna be styling. Among others, she already has Gap clothes with little teddy bears and a really cute onesie that says, "The Poo," a la "The Who"! Another favorite of mine is a yellow onesie with a little lion on the front. Wal-mart has some great stuff.
I woke up today with a new found sense of optimism. Nobody told me how much being pregnant can get you down. I've suffered from panic disorder for years -- since I was about 17 years old -- and the pregnancy hormones have increased it tenfold. The last week has been a real downer. There were days when I didn't even want to get out of bed. I'm not familiar with the feelings of depression. I just don't get depressed. I mean sure, I get blue like everyone else. Sometimes even for a couple of days. But never depressed. This was a whole new feeling for me and let me tell you, it's the worst feeling you can possibly have. I saw my doctor yesterday and he prescribed something that's safe to take during pregnancy but that would help me with my depression. He explained that because I'm already susceptible to panic disorder (which is also fueling the depression) that I'm naturally more susceptible to ante-partum depression. The medicine works quickly and I only have to be on it for a week. I think just knowing that there's help out there has made me feel much more at ease. The coming days look much brighter and I know that I must help myself as well by getting up early, exercising, being social and just doing nice things for me, my loved ones and even strangers. I know I can get through this. I WILL get through this. I've always been a strong woman -- apparently that's one of the qualities that attracted my husband to me! -- and I'll be damned if this demon takes me down. I also started praying again. As a young girl, I was raised Catholic and taught to pray to God every night, go to church, go to confession, etc, etc. As I've grown older, I've stopped subscribing to organized religion, but I still believe in a God. Unfortunately, when I stopped going to church I also stopped praying as often. I like to think that God can work miracles but the scientist in me (my favorite subject is science) always looks for concrete evidence and often needs concrete evidence to prove something. Faith alone doesn't always work for me. Either way, I know that praying DOES help. Whether it's the act of airing your grievances or God himself that makes you feel better, praying helps me in a way that cannot be achieved through other means. I'm going to try and pray every day now like I used to when I was younger.
Alright, now that I'm off my soapbox I'm going to dive in the pool. I'll be back!

Keep on swimming...

Week 6 -- Day 3 -- Baby's First Prenatal Visit

We had our first doctor's visit today! (I'm VERY tired right now, so if my typing and writing is sub-par, I apologize.) The doctor was reassuring when it came to our concerns about the pregnancy and happily informed us that once the baby's heart is beating (which it is!) that the chance of miscarriage drops to 5%. I was THRILLED to hear that. I have these recurring worries about miscarriage...now I can finally rest. After much "baby" talk involving genetic testing, what to eat, safe medications, vitamins, exercise, vaccines and morning sickness, she announced that she wanted to take a look at the little sea monkey via ultrasound. Kent and I were ecstatic! This was a huge surprise to us. From what I had understood, she was only going to listen to the baby's heart, and it was too early for them to have a reason to do the ultrasound. I guess every doctor is different. Boy, I was telling Kent that out of all the research I've done on various topics, I've never researched one so controversial as how to have a healthy and safe pregnancy. There are contradictions on EVERYTHING! One Web site tells you not to eat this, another says it's okay in moderation, another says it's fine altogether -- I finally decided to stick with what the AMA and reputable sources say. Everyone else can kiss my ass. :)
When we arrived in the ultrasound room everything felt surreal once again. That little machine with the blank black screen was sitting there waiting to be used. I felt like I was in a movie scene. You know, the couple goes to the doctor who squirts cold jelly on the woman's tummy and then the baby appears in the classic position and Mom and Pop cry tears of joy, the doctor giggles and all is peachy keen. Our experience was similar only no tears appeared, just huge smiles and laughs. It took the doctor a little longer than I expected to find the baby. She commented that I probably wasn't as far along as she initially thought. For a split second I was terrified that I had miscarried, and she would never find a baby. Finally, in what seemed like hours, the tiny bean popped up! We could see the heart beat nice and steady and strong! It was going at what seemed like 1000 bpm. I thought that pin-sized heart was going to pop out of it's teeny tiny chest. All we could see was my uterus (which is rapidly expanding) and the little baby's heart and head -- two white dots with the heart much larger than the head at this point. Or so I think it was the heart spot that was bigger. I was afraid to move because I didn't want her to lose site of the baby with the ultrasound wand, so I didn't see her (the little duck) wiggling around like my husband said she was. That's a Quackenbush for you! All heart and full of energy. The doc printed out a picture of the baby for us (baby's first photo) and I plan to frame it and put it next to our bed. It's currently hanging on the fridge -- baby's first piece of art too. I can only say that the pregnancy feels much more real now. I saw the heart -- the first sign of life -- and with that, I know that I must do everything in my power to keep that heart strong and content. Although I was disappointed that I wasn't as far along as I thought -- I'm only 6 weeks and 3 days and the due date is now March 30, 2010 instead of March 22 -- I'm just full of relief that the baby is doing great for now. I can only pray that I continue to have a healthy pregnancy and that my little duck is well and happy.
I felt sick to my stomach most of the day today. I'm going to hit the hay early and try and stomach a strawberry popsicle and then some Sleepytime tea. My father-in-law jinxed me! I told him over the phone the other day that my nausea wasn't bad at all and he said, "Well, you're still early in your pregnancy. You have time." I laughed and thought to myself, "Thanks a lot Quack!" I guess he was right! :( Ah well. Just another part of the miracle of life. :) Goodnight everyone!