Week Five-Day 5

10 am. I woke up today extremely weak and fatigued. If you have ever had really low blood sugar, that’s sort of what it felt like, not as bad though.
I’ve had really low blood sugar levels before. I was rushed to the hospital near comatose about four years ago. I woke up with a blood sugar level of 33. I couldn’t walk, could hardly talk, I was drenched in sweat and my heart was about to pop out of my chest. The doctors and nurses who treated me at the hospital told me I should have never woken up from my sleep and I should have been dead. I like to thank my cat, Kiki, for saving my life. I woke up to her on top of my chest licking me and purring really loudly as if to say, “Get up Mom!” Well, I saved her life from the shelter so I guess she returned the favor. Low blood sugar (hypoglycemia) is easily treatable. A few IV bags of glucose and I was up and running again. And I digress…
So, I felt like I had low blood sugar this morning, only I know that wasn’t likely. I ate a small meal before bed, which is what the preg mags are telling me to do, so that my stomach would be full and blood sugar stabilized. You know, come to think of it, I wonder if being pregnant messes with your blood sugar? Every magazine or book I’ve read touches on blood sugar levels at some point. I have a history of hypoglycemia so maybe I should do some more research. But I haven’t had low blood sugar to a severe level in over a year. That was always due to my drinking habits. Kent and I don’t drink anymore so things have been good in that department. Hmm. Luckily, I see my baby doc in eight days. I’ll just ask her.
I cannot believe how worried I have been about my baby! I have this HUGE fear of miscarrying. Every little ache and pain that I feel in my abdomen sends my brain into overdrive. I don’t know how many times I’ve checked the toilet to make sure there’s no blood in it after I’ve peed. I hope I’m not this psychotic with my kid! I’m going to give her Munchausen by proxy. I had a dream last night that Kent and I and all of my high school friends were up in this huge space station (why my brain chose that setting, I have no idea) and we had just woken up in our little space room and I decided to take a pregnancy test to make sure I was still pregnant. It came back “Not Pregnant.” I fell to the floor and started sobbing uncontrollably…then I woke up.
Yesterday, I had a small cup of coffee in the morning and then a Coke to settle my stomach in the afternoon. After the fact, I couldn’t stop thinking about what if my baby’s small brain had dried up from caffeine dehydration. This series of thoughts continued for at least 30 min to the point where I thought I would have a panic attack if I didn’t shut my mind off. I took a few deep breaths and told myself that everything was fine. I’M FREAKIN’ CRAZY!
I just ate some cereal and I’m starting to feel better. I had wanted to wake up early today and swim some laps downstairs but…oh well. Later tonight. Kent can come with. I’m worried that I won’t be able to exercise because I’ve been so tired. SHUT UP LAUREN! STOP WORRYING! It’s exhausting being me sometimes. The computer just told me that the word “me” was used improperly and that I should put “I” in its spot. I don’t agree with that. That will sound too British. Not that there’s anything wrong with being British, but I just don’t like the way it sounds.
I have to go back to my parent’s house later and grab our three kitties. I couldn’t believe how much I missed them last night. I think Fran, our German Shorthair Pointer, missed them too. She seems a little lonely. I feel so bad because she doesn’t have a huge yard to play in anymore. She loved chasing those squirrels and playing with her other dog buddies. I would walk her but it’s so damn hot outside. I’d be afraid she would have a heat stroke.
I also need to unpack these boxes. It’s kinda hard though when you don’t have anywhere to put some stuff. We don’t have a couch or coffee table yet and the desk is still at the other house. We also have to order Internet. I tried connecting to other networks but they were either encrypted or the signal wasn’t strong enough.
I need a better job! The one I have isn’t consistent. I either have something to work on or I don’t. I bought this editing key that I need to transcribe documents. Transcribing pays a lot more than proofreading. But I can’t get the damn key to work. It looks like half of a USB cable. It’s really tiny. When I hook it up to my computer, it’s not being detected. It’s supposed to only work with the Microsoft OS so I went out of my way to buy a program that allows you to run MS on a Mac. Everything seemed to be good to go until I plugged that key in and MS didn’t pick it up. Not even my Mac OS picks it up. It’s really strange because the other lady (the one I work for) had no problem running the key on her computer. Granted she has a Dell not a Mac, but a computer is a computer. The only thing that works it is the OS, so really, it shouldn’t matter what the piece of hardware is. As long as you have the OS to run it, what’s the problem, right? ANYWAY…I’m going to finish my coffee and jump in the shower. I’ll be back.