10 am. I woke up today extremely weak and fatigued. If you have ever had really low blood sugar, that’s sort of what it felt like, not as bad though.
I’ve had really low blood sugar levels before. I was rushed to the hospital near comatose about four years ago. I woke up with a blood sugar level of 33. I couldn’t walk, could hardly talk, I was drenched in sweat and my heart was about to pop out of my chest. The doctors and nurses who treated me at the hospital told me I should have never woken up from my sleep and I should have been dead. I like to thank my cat, Kiki, for saving my life. I woke up to her on top of my chest licking me and purring really loudly as if to say, “Get up Mom!” Well, I saved her life from the shelter so I guess she returned the favor. Low blood sugar (hypoglycemia) is easily treatable. A few IV bags of glucose and I was up and running again. And I digress…
So, I felt like I had low blood sugar this morning, only I know that wasn’t likely. I ate a small meal before bed, which is what the preg mags are telling me to do, so that my stomach would be full and blood sugar stabilized. You know, come to think of it, I wonder if being pregnant messes with your blood sugar? Every magazine or book I’ve read touches on blood sugar levels at some point. I have a history of hypoglycemia so maybe I should do some more research. But I haven’t had low blood sugar to a severe level in over a year. That was always due to my drinking habits. Kent and I don’t drink anymore so things have been good in that department. Hmm. Luckily, I see my baby doc in eight days. I’ll just ask her.
I cannot believe how worried I have been about my baby! I have this HUGE fear of miscarrying. Every little ache and pain that I feel in my abdomen sends my brain into overdrive. I don’t know how many times I’ve checked the toilet to make sure there’s no blood in it after I’ve peed. I hope I’m not this psychotic with my kid! I’m going to give her Munchausen by proxy. I had a dream last night that Kent and I and all of my high school friends were up in this huge space station (why my brain chose that setting, I have no idea) and we had just woken up in our little space room and I decided to take a pregnancy test to make sure I was still pregnant. It came back “Not Pregnant.” I fell to the floor and started sobbing uncontrollably…then I woke up.
Yesterday, I had a small cup of coffee in the morning and then a Coke to settle my stomach in the afternoon. After the fact, I couldn’t stop thinking about what if my baby’s small brain had dried up from caffeine dehydration. This series of thoughts continued for at least 30 min to the point where I thought I would have a panic attack if I didn’t shut my mind off. I took a few deep breaths and told myself that everything was fine. I’M FREAKIN’ CRAZY!
I just ate some cereal and I’m starting to feel better. I had wanted to wake up early today and swim some laps downstairs but…oh well. Later tonight. Kent can come with. I’m worried that I won’t be able to exercise because I’ve been so tired. SHUT UP LAUREN! STOP WORRYING! It’s exhausting being me sometimes. The computer just told me that the word “me” was used improperly and that I should put “I” in its spot. I don’t agree with that. That will sound too British. Not that there’s anything wrong with being British, but I just don’t like the way it sounds.
I have to go back to my parent’s house later and grab our three kitties. I couldn’t believe how much I missed them last night. I think Fran, our German Shorthair Pointer, missed them too. She seems a little lonely. I feel so bad because she doesn’t have a huge yard to play in anymore. She loved chasing those squirrels and playing with her other dog buddies. I would walk her but it’s so damn hot outside. I’d be afraid she would have a heat stroke.
I also need to unpack these boxes. It’s kinda hard though when you don’t have anywhere to put some stuff. We don’t have a couch or coffee table yet and the desk is still at the other house. We also have to order Internet. I tried connecting to other networks but they were either encrypted or the signal wasn’t strong enough.
I need a better job! The one I have isn’t consistent. I either have something to work on or I don’t. I bought this editing key that I need to transcribe documents. Transcribing pays a lot more than proofreading. But I can’t get the damn key to work. It looks like half of a USB cable. It’s really tiny. When I hook it up to my computer, it’s not being detected. It’s supposed to only work with the Microsoft OS so I went out of my way to buy a program that allows you to run MS on a Mac. Everything seemed to be good to go until I plugged that key in and MS didn’t pick it up. Not even my Mac OS picks it up. It’s really strange because the other lady (the one I work for) had no problem running the key on her computer. Granted she has a Dell not a Mac, but a computer is a computer. The only thing that works it is the OS, so really, it shouldn’t matter what the piece of hardware is. As long as you have the OS to run it, what’s the problem, right? ANYWAY…I’m going to finish my coffee and jump in the shower. I’ll be back.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Week Five-Day 4- Augh
11:45 am. I just attempted to throw up my breakfast. I guess knocking on wood for no more morning sickness didn't do much good! A wave of nausea hit me suddenly about 30 min ago. Actually, I think it began when I spritzed on some Birthday Cake scented body spray. Woah. Just typing that made me want to hurl. I've always loved this body spray. I used to wear it daily for months on end. Everybody complemented me on how "sweet" I smelled. :) I guess I'll have to say "goodbye" to it during my pregnancy. I'm still in awe about how much more I can smell lately. Yesterday my Mom was sitting next to me at dinner with a glass of wine, and I couldn't sop smelling that sweet/floralesque scent of her Reisling. As I said in a previous post, my husband and I don't drink anymore but that scent was tugging at my sleeve like no other. I wanted to grab the bottle and chug the wine to satisfy my thirst. Of course, I would never do this as I don't drink, and even if I did, it would be too dangerous to indulge in alcohol during my pregnancy. So I had to sit through dinner with that overwhelming sense of wine lingering by my nose.
I feel partly hungry and partly nauseous right now. I think that's the worst feeling one can have. You don't know whether to eat or let your stomach settle. The primeval side of me, the survival side, keeps telling me to forget about my morning sickness and feed my starving body, while the logical side of me, the "let's take care of Lauren" side, keeps telling me to protect myself and wait. I settled on drinking a Coke. Which reminds me, I need to write down "Caffeine-free Coke" on my grocery list. I drank a small cup of coffee -- I mean baby cup small -- this morning, so I should be okay with just one Coke. At least that's what all the baby magazines/books seem to think. I read that you don't have to cut out all caffeine -- pregnant women have to give up so much already -- but you need to drink it in moderation.
My Dad and Kent are back at the new apartment now unloading stuff. They were able to pack up a good amount of furniture and boxes including our bed. I'm busy packing what's left of our closet as well as the bathroom stuff so we can shower tomorrow. We don't have a whole lot more to go, which makes me very happy seeing as how I'm now falling into pure pregnancy mode. Tired. Achy. Nauseous. Moody. Bloated.
Oh, did I mention that my maternal instincts are already kicking in? I was reading this horrible article yesterday about this religious "Jesus loving prophet" who raped little girls as young as 9 years old. I was telling my husband that if ANYONE ever harmed my child, I would spend the rest of my life hunting him down and once I found him, I'd chop off his balls and choke him with them. WOW!! GO LAUREN! The anger that enveloped me was unimaginable. Now I've always felt very maternal when it came to my animals but this was an entirely foreign feeling. For the first time, I felt reassured that I'd be a good Mom.
Better finish packing.
I feel partly hungry and partly nauseous right now. I think that's the worst feeling one can have. You don't know whether to eat or let your stomach settle. The primeval side of me, the survival side, keeps telling me to forget about my morning sickness and feed my starving body, while the logical side of me, the "let's take care of Lauren" side, keeps telling me to protect myself and wait. I settled on drinking a Coke. Which reminds me, I need to write down "Caffeine-free Coke" on my grocery list. I drank a small cup of coffee -- I mean baby cup small -- this morning, so I should be okay with just one Coke. At least that's what all the baby magazines/books seem to think. I read that you don't have to cut out all caffeine -- pregnant women have to give up so much already -- but you need to drink it in moderation.
My Dad and Kent are back at the new apartment now unloading stuff. They were able to pack up a good amount of furniture and boxes including our bed. I'm busy packing what's left of our closet as well as the bathroom stuff so we can shower tomorrow. We don't have a whole lot more to go, which makes me very happy seeing as how I'm now falling into pure pregnancy mode. Tired. Achy. Nauseous. Moody. Bloated.
Oh, did I mention that my maternal instincts are already kicking in? I was reading this horrible article yesterday about this religious "Jesus loving prophet" who raped little girls as young as 9 years old. I was telling my husband that if ANYONE ever harmed my child, I would spend the rest of my life hunting him down and once I found him, I'd chop off his balls and choke him with them. WOW!! GO LAUREN! The anger that enveloped me was unimaginable. Now I've always felt very maternal when it came to my animals but this was an entirely foreign feeling. For the first time, I felt reassured that I'd be a good Mom.
Better finish packing.
Week Five-Day 4
I woke up in a REALLY bad mood today. I'm still a little irritable but I'm trying to maintain my wits. I didn't sleep well at all last night due to the huge nail that was being driven down my spine. I've had really severe back pain since a car accident in Jan. '08, and about once or twice a week the pain gets so bad that I can't sleep. *Sighs*
I had my first bout of "morning sickness" last night. Wow! Not fun. It was really weird. I was just thinking about how I was going to heat me up some nice juicy steak and, in seconds, my stomach went from growling to doing flip flops. My mouth filled with saliva and I felt like the room was tilting a bit -- just really dizzy like. I ran to the bathroom and was so sure I was going to throw up that I was shocked when nothing came out. This went on for about 15 minutes -- watery mouth, run to the toilet, dry heave a few times, nothing. I haven't been that nauseous in years. I thought about forcing myself to throw up, but I was afraid that if I did, I wouldn't be able to stop.
Luckily, this car sick feeling didn't last all that long and before I knew it, I was up at midnight raiding the fridge for some food. Steak? Too red. The baby might get sick. Leftover spaghetti? Too spicy. My mom ordered spicy sausage with it. Bread with butter? Ahh, I guess.
I sliced up a small loaf of garlic bread and brought it to bed.
Now, I'm just so freakin' moody! I was at the breakfast table with my parents and husband and EVERYTHING -- every voice, every laugh, every sound in general made my want to gouge my eyes out. I could hear my dad chewing his food; the sound of my husband's laugh grated against my ear drums; the sound the forks made when they were hitting the plates was insufferable; even the sound of my own voice made me want to scream. What the hell is the matter with me!? My husband was reading a newspaper insert titled, "This Is Austin," and he was thorougly enjoying the material. I couldn't understand what was so exciting about it. "Did you know our new apartment is close to [fill in the blank]?" "What road do we live on?" "We need to go to this neat park they're talking about here." "Did you know Lakeway has a population of 9,000?"
On a normal day, I would be just as excited as him to read about the new area we're going to inhabit. Today, however, I just wanted to throw my buttery, syrup-covered pancake at him. Aww, my poor Kent! He's so thrilled with everything that has been going on lately and it definitely shows. He's going to make such a great Daddy. He's already singing lullabies to the little apple seed that is our baby. This morning he told the baby that he would get her whatever she wanted and that he would try and be the best Dad that he can possibly be. :) I'm such a lucky girl.
Kent and my Pops are loading up the 4Runner and the pick up right now to take to the new place. I'm supposed to jump in the shower and then start packing up the rest of this bedroom. We're aiming to starting sleeping there tonight. We still have a crapload of stuff in the spare bedroom outside -- filing cabinets and other office stuff mainly -- but it's going to take a full day to go through all of it. I better hop to it!
I'm hoping for no more nausea today. I was able to eat a pancake and ham, so I'm good so far. (Knock on wood.)
Adios.
I had my first bout of "morning sickness" last night. Wow! Not fun. It was really weird. I was just thinking about how I was going to heat me up some nice juicy steak and, in seconds, my stomach went from growling to doing flip flops. My mouth filled with saliva and I felt like the room was tilting a bit -- just really dizzy like. I ran to the bathroom and was so sure I was going to throw up that I was shocked when nothing came out. This went on for about 15 minutes -- watery mouth, run to the toilet, dry heave a few times, nothing. I haven't been that nauseous in years. I thought about forcing myself to throw up, but I was afraid that if I did, I wouldn't be able to stop.
Luckily, this car sick feeling didn't last all that long and before I knew it, I was up at midnight raiding the fridge for some food. Steak? Too red. The baby might get sick. Leftover spaghetti? Too spicy. My mom ordered spicy sausage with it. Bread with butter? Ahh, I guess.
I sliced up a small loaf of garlic bread and brought it to bed.
Now, I'm just so freakin' moody! I was at the breakfast table with my parents and husband and EVERYTHING -- every voice, every laugh, every sound in general made my want to gouge my eyes out. I could hear my dad chewing his food; the sound of my husband's laugh grated against my ear drums; the sound the forks made when they were hitting the plates was insufferable; even the sound of my own voice made me want to scream. What the hell is the matter with me!? My husband was reading a newspaper insert titled, "This Is Austin," and he was thorougly enjoying the material. I couldn't understand what was so exciting about it. "Did you know our new apartment is close to [fill in the blank]?" "What road do we live on?" "We need to go to this neat park they're talking about here." "Did you know Lakeway has a population of 9,000?"
On a normal day, I would be just as excited as him to read about the new area we're going to inhabit. Today, however, I just wanted to throw my buttery, syrup-covered pancake at him. Aww, my poor Kent! He's so thrilled with everything that has been going on lately and it definitely shows. He's going to make such a great Daddy. He's already singing lullabies to the little apple seed that is our baby. This morning he told the baby that he would get her whatever she wanted and that he would try and be the best Dad that he can possibly be. :) I'm such a lucky girl.
Kent and my Pops are loading up the 4Runner and the pick up right now to take to the new place. I'm supposed to jump in the shower and then start packing up the rest of this bedroom. We're aiming to starting sleeping there tonight. We still have a crapload of stuff in the spare bedroom outside -- filing cabinets and other office stuff mainly -- but it's going to take a full day to go through all of it. I better hop to it!
I'm hoping for no more nausea today. I was able to eat a pancake and ham, so I'm good so far. (Knock on wood.)
Adios.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Week Five-Day 3
I'm just realizing how many posts I'm going to accumulate by March 22.Holy gees.
Kent and I went to bed at 7 pm last night. You would have thought Kent was pregnant too! He's been doing soo much work trying to get us moved into our new place. I feel so bad that I can't help lift anything. Even if I didn't have a bad back, I couldn't lift because I'm pregnant! I could not believe how tired I was yesterday. It felt like I had ingested 30 Benadryl or had the flu or something. My whole body was achy and weak, and I just couldn't keep my eyes open.
I'll be back. Mystery Diagnosis is on!
Kent and I went to bed at 7 pm last night. You would have thought Kent was pregnant too! He's been doing soo much work trying to get us moved into our new place. I feel so bad that I can't help lift anything. Even if I didn't have a bad back, I couldn't lift because I'm pregnant! I could not believe how tired I was yesterday. It felt like I had ingested 30 Benadryl or had the flu or something. My whole body was achy and weak, and I just couldn't keep my eyes open.
I'll be back. Mystery Diagnosis is on!
Friday, July 24, 2009
Week Five-Day 2
It's 8:50 am. I woke up about an hour ago to the smell of fresh coffee brewing. MMM! My Pops offered to cook us breakfast this morning, and I was starving! This morning, my tummy feels really tight, as if someone was taking my skin and stretching it. I know I won't be showing for awhile, so I'm not sure why I feel like this? I'll look it up on babycenter.com. That Web site has been really, really helpful for me. It has a week by week tracker that lets you know what's happening inside your uterus and body in general -- what symptoms you'll feel, what's normal and what's not, what you should be doing at that point to stay healthy, etc.
I had a pancake and some ham for breakfast along with a small cup of coffee. Thank God you can still drink a tiny amount of caffeine. I'm so addicted to coffee! I've cut down from 3 to 4 cups a day to one tiny cup in the morning. I'm so proud of myself!
I started feeling a little nauseous about 10 minutes ago. I couldn't finish my breakfast, which is VERY out of character for me! Breakfast is by far my favorite meal of the day. I hope this isn't the first sign of morning sickness. Uggh. I need to start packing up our bedroom so we can start living in our new apartment. It's in a beautiful area of town -- Lakeway. Lot's of rolling hills, green grass, fresh air, and most importantly, QUIET. I love living in the heart of a bustling, culturally sound city, but the older I get the more I find myself wanting to be out in the country where it's nice and peaceful. Lakeway will be the perfect area for us while we're preparing for Baby Quack. Everything we need is no more than a few yards from our apartment building. There's a laundry room, lap pool, playground, dog run, hiking trails, Lake Travis, a vet clinic, the bank, Walmart, Target, HEB, an elementary school, gas station -- you name it, it's there. Kent and I can really see our new family being quite content in the future. We can already picture ourselves thriving in this area.
The nausea settled down some. I need to wash the dishes for my Daddy. By the way, being pregnant makes you have to pee all the time!!! I failed to mention that yesterday, but that was the first thing I noticed before we got the positive preg test. I thought I was just drinking too much water, but that wasn't the case. The hormones cause you to pee for some reason. I am constantly on the pot!
I had a pancake and some ham for breakfast along with a small cup of coffee. Thank God you can still drink a tiny amount of caffeine. I'm so addicted to coffee! I've cut down from 3 to 4 cups a day to one tiny cup in the morning. I'm so proud of myself!
I started feeling a little nauseous about 10 minutes ago. I couldn't finish my breakfast, which is VERY out of character for me! Breakfast is by far my favorite meal of the day. I hope this isn't the first sign of morning sickness. Uggh. I need to start packing up our bedroom so we can start living in our new apartment. It's in a beautiful area of town -- Lakeway. Lot's of rolling hills, green grass, fresh air, and most importantly, QUIET. I love living in the heart of a bustling, culturally sound city, but the older I get the more I find myself wanting to be out in the country where it's nice and peaceful. Lakeway will be the perfect area for us while we're preparing for Baby Quack. Everything we need is no more than a few yards from our apartment building. There's a laundry room, lap pool, playground, dog run, hiking trails, Lake Travis, a vet clinic, the bank, Walmart, Target, HEB, an elementary school, gas station -- you name it, it's there. Kent and I can really see our new family being quite content in the future. We can already picture ourselves thriving in this area.
The nausea settled down some. I need to wash the dishes for my Daddy. By the way, being pregnant makes you have to pee all the time!!! I failed to mention that yesterday, but that was the first thing I noticed before we got the positive preg test. I thought I was just drinking too much water, but that wasn't the case. The hormones cause you to pee for some reason. I am constantly on the pot!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Baby Quack's Journey -- Week Five
So I decided to start writing a blog throughout my pregnancy. I'm sure 10 years from now she (and I'm calling her "she" because I have a gut feeling it's a she) won't really care about what it was like being inside her Mama's belly, but hey, I gotta do something to mark this journey, right?
Kent (my husband) and I found out we were pregnant on July 22, 2009, a Monday. We had been wanting to have a baby for a few months already, but nothing could have prepared us for that "Pregnant" signal on the stick test.
As soon as the hour glass stopped and the word appeared, Kent picked up the test, looked at it, turned bright red and with a laugh he stated, "Oh my God!" I thought he was joking at first, so I said, "Nahh, uhh!" like I didn't believe him. I picked up the test for myself and lo and behold, I was in fact pregnant. My jaw dropped and I brought my hand to my mouth and started laughing. I didn't know what to do! By this time, we were both laughing uncontrollably. It was kind of like one of those hysterical/nervous/holycrapwow kind of laughs. I kept repeating, "Okay. Okay. Okay." We were both pacing around the bathroom, trying to figure out how to tell our parents. Part of me wanted to faint, the other part wanted to jump around and cry tears of joy. After about five minutes of us spewing out nonsense words, we realized that this was it. Our brains went into overdrive. "We need to get better jobs. We need to make sure our medical costs are covered. We need to tell our parents, friends and family. What am I going to feel like? What is Kent going to feel like? I need to see if the medications I'm taking are okay. Or do I need to come off of them? Will I be able to come off of them? Have I done anything prior to today that may have affected the baby? Did I eat anything dangerous? Did I drink any alcohol? I didn't drink any did I? Kent and I don't drink anymore, but we had one glass of wine with some friends awhile ago. How long ago was that?" Of course I could keep typing, but I think you get the picture.
We agreed that we would take the rest of the night to let everything soak in, and we'd continue on our path of newfound parenthood tomorrow. Can you even call it parenthood yet? Is one with a baby on the way considered a parent? They should be, right? I mean, here I am with a life in my belly -- a life that my husband and I created -- so I should be called a parent!
The next morning, I nervously told my Mom and Dad. My Mom was here in Austin and my Dad was in Mcallen. Both of them were concerned that Kent and I were actually ready for a child, but they both seemed happy. Later on that day we told Kent's parents and brother. They were ecstatic! Kent's brother offered to give us his little boys' old baby stuff, so that will be incredibly helpful.
--My back hurts lying the way I am. I'm on my tummy on the bed, and the computer is in front of me.
As far as how I feel, I'm pretty fatigued and achy. We just started to move into a third-story apartment, and boy, walking up those stairs is awful! You would think I weighed 300 lbs by the way I'm huffing and puffing up those steps. Seriously. I'm so used to being spry, and now I just feel like a big blob. A friend of mine told me that she forced herself to exercise four times a week while pregnant, so I guess I'm just going to have to do that. There's an inviting pool right next to our building, so I suppose I can easily throw on my Ironman swimsuit (no, I wasn't in the Ironman triathalon, contrary to what many have thought, although you can think that if you'd like), hop in the pool and do a few hundred yards. I started swimming for exercise before I found out I had a little squirt inside of me, and I found it to be even more aerobic than running.
I'd like to think I'm not moody or sensitive but that would be outright silly of me. I know I have been extremely sensitive. Everything people say or do seems to bother me in some form, whether it hurts my feelings or pisses me off or just makes me want to gag, I've been reacting strongly to everything around me. Funny thing is, as much as I'm reacting negatively to some things, I'm also reacting very positively to others. The grass looks greener, sky looks bluer, air smells fresher...I guess just knowing that I have a little life inside of me -- beating heart and all -- makes me want to enjoy this world and the loved ones around me as much as possible. Life is so precious. It can be created in an instant and taken away just as quickly. Knowing that I now have the responsibility of caring for another one's life, of teaching that little human being how to be the best person he/she can be, of being a role model, it just makes me want to be a better person. I've never felt so full of ambition or desire. I want to be the best parent I know how to be. I want to provide for my child as much as I can, no matter how hard the road may be. Things are just...different now.
I can smell and taste so much more than I could before. I feel like Superwoman. Supposedly this happens so the mother won't eat anything rotten or harmful to the baby. Pretty cool, actually.
I can't wait till the baby becomes visible and I get a little tummy! Right now it doesn't really seem like I'm pregnant because my belly looks the same, but I still know I have a little apple seed in there. I've been reading about what goes on each week of pregnancy, and supposedly, the baby now is the size of an apple side. She has a teenie tiny heart that's now beating and a "neural tube" has formed that will give rise to her spinal cord, brain, etc.
--Here's the link to what's going on if you care to check it out: http://www.babycenter.com/303_5-weeks_1615693.bc
I'm getting really hungry now! I'm craving refried beans. MMM! More to come.
Kent (my husband) and I found out we were pregnant on July 22, 2009, a Monday. We had been wanting to have a baby for a few months already, but nothing could have prepared us for that "Pregnant" signal on the stick test.
As soon as the hour glass stopped and the word appeared, Kent picked up the test, looked at it, turned bright red and with a laugh he stated, "Oh my God!" I thought he was joking at first, so I said, "Nahh, uhh!" like I didn't believe him. I picked up the test for myself and lo and behold, I was in fact pregnant. My jaw dropped and I brought my hand to my mouth and started laughing. I didn't know what to do! By this time, we were both laughing uncontrollably. It was kind of like one of those hysterical/nervous/holycrapwow kind of laughs. I kept repeating, "Okay. Okay. Okay." We were both pacing around the bathroom, trying to figure out how to tell our parents. Part of me wanted to faint, the other part wanted to jump around and cry tears of joy. After about five minutes of us spewing out nonsense words, we realized that this was it. Our brains went into overdrive. "We need to get better jobs. We need to make sure our medical costs are covered. We need to tell our parents, friends and family. What am I going to feel like? What is Kent going to feel like? I need to see if the medications I'm taking are okay. Or do I need to come off of them? Will I be able to come off of them? Have I done anything prior to today that may have affected the baby? Did I eat anything dangerous? Did I drink any alcohol? I didn't drink any did I? Kent and I don't drink anymore, but we had one glass of wine with some friends awhile ago. How long ago was that?" Of course I could keep typing, but I think you get the picture.
We agreed that we would take the rest of the night to let everything soak in, and we'd continue on our path of newfound parenthood tomorrow. Can you even call it parenthood yet? Is one with a baby on the way considered a parent? They should be, right? I mean, here I am with a life in my belly -- a life that my husband and I created -- so I should be called a parent!
The next morning, I nervously told my Mom and Dad. My Mom was here in Austin and my Dad was in Mcallen. Both of them were concerned that Kent and I were actually ready for a child, but they both seemed happy. Later on that day we told Kent's parents and brother. They were ecstatic! Kent's brother offered to give us his little boys' old baby stuff, so that will be incredibly helpful.
--My back hurts lying the way I am. I'm on my tummy on the bed, and the computer is in front of me.
As far as how I feel, I'm pretty fatigued and achy. We just started to move into a third-story apartment, and boy, walking up those stairs is awful! You would think I weighed 300 lbs by the way I'm huffing and puffing up those steps. Seriously. I'm so used to being spry, and now I just feel like a big blob. A friend of mine told me that she forced herself to exercise four times a week while pregnant, so I guess I'm just going to have to do that. There's an inviting pool right next to our building, so I suppose I can easily throw on my Ironman swimsuit (no, I wasn't in the Ironman triathalon, contrary to what many have thought, although you can think that if you'd like), hop in the pool and do a few hundred yards. I started swimming for exercise before I found out I had a little squirt inside of me, and I found it to be even more aerobic than running.
I'd like to think I'm not moody or sensitive but that would be outright silly of me. I know I have been extremely sensitive. Everything people say or do seems to bother me in some form, whether it hurts my feelings or pisses me off or just makes me want to gag, I've been reacting strongly to everything around me. Funny thing is, as much as I'm reacting negatively to some things, I'm also reacting very positively to others. The grass looks greener, sky looks bluer, air smells fresher...I guess just knowing that I have a little life inside of me -- beating heart and all -- makes me want to enjoy this world and the loved ones around me as much as possible. Life is so precious. It can be created in an instant and taken away just as quickly. Knowing that I now have the responsibility of caring for another one's life, of teaching that little human being how to be the best person he/she can be, of being a role model, it just makes me want to be a better person. I've never felt so full of ambition or desire. I want to be the best parent I know how to be. I want to provide for my child as much as I can, no matter how hard the road may be. Things are just...different now.
I can smell and taste so much more than I could before. I feel like Superwoman. Supposedly this happens so the mother won't eat anything rotten or harmful to the baby. Pretty cool, actually.
I can't wait till the baby becomes visible and I get a little tummy! Right now it doesn't really seem like I'm pregnant because my belly looks the same, but I still know I have a little apple seed in there. I've been reading about what goes on each week of pregnancy, and supposedly, the baby now is the size of an apple side. She has a teenie tiny heart that's now beating and a "neural tube" has formed that will give rise to her spinal cord, brain, etc.
--Here's the link to what's going on if you care to check it out: http://www.babycenter.com/303_5-weeks_1615693.bc
I'm getting really hungry now! I'm craving refried beans. MMM! More to come.
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