10:53 a.m. SEVENTEEN WEEKS! Holy crap. In less than 5 mths, we will have a little life to care for, nurture and love for eternity. I keep picturing this little girl (still don't know the sex, but I still think it's a girl!) with big round colored eyes staring up at me and calling me "Mommy." Mommy! It's hard to think of myself -- a tiny 4'10" person who still looks up to her parents -- as someone's Mom. I will always have my worries about being a good parent, but I'm gaining more and more confidence as the days go by. I'm still reading a lot of stuff online and in magazines, and I've been watching "A Baby Story" on TLC and a lot of that show "Wife Swap." It's amazing how much you can learn from other people's mistakes! Some of those parents on Wife Swap are INSANE! I've seen a range of personalities, from overly strict parents to those who literally tell people that they live to serve their children.(One dad actually said that verbatim.) I've seen lazy kids, rude kids, children with no social lives, spoiled kids, you name it, I've seen it. I've been taking a lot of mental notes from this show and have even decided to use some of the families ideas of making chore lists, giving out allowances, setting aside family time and generally creating a somewhat structured lifestyle for their children. I believe children need some sort of structure, but they also need room to grow and try new things. I would never hold my child to one particular activity. I would let her/him try several things (provided that they are not dangerous) until he/she found his niche.
I've finally gained weight! Two pounds to be exact. I know it's not a huge amount, but it's pretty significant to me, given that I actually lost weight during my first trimester and have had so much trouble eating lately. I'm seeing a new doctor now, the doctor who's running my exercise study (did i tell you guys about that study?), and feel SO much more comfortable with him. My husband took to him instantly as well. My new doctor actually listened to everything I said, including what would be considered "normal, unpleasant pregnancy symptoms" such as vomiting and headaches, and took them seriously. He offered me a variety of ways to alleviate symptoms and assured me that he would look further into the symptoms (especially the vomiting), if they got any worse. I told the doc that my anti-nausea medication, Phenergan, hadn't been working. All it does is make me sleepy. So he prescribed something stronger called Zofran, that comes in a dissolvable (is that a word?) tablet form. You put a tab on your tongue and begin to feel relief in minutes. Since using the Zofran, I've been able to eat a lot more than I was before. The nausea hasn't completely disappeared, and I still get sick every now and then, but I feel so much better.
At my first (and so far, only) appointment with my new doc, he performed a VERY THOROUGH ultrasound that not even my first doctor did. She had already given me 2 or 3 ultrasounds and didn't do a whole lot but look at the baby, smile, and point out the head and body. This guy took about 10 to 15 minutes taking measurements of the skull, body, femur, and other parts I can't remember, and telling us in full detail what was what. He pointed out baby's round tummy, which was full of amniotic fluid (baby can swallow now!); baby's entire spine (you could literally count the vertebrae, it was unbelievable); baby's 10 fingers and toes, femur, arm bones, spinal cord, and other individual bones on it's body. My husband and I were speechless over how this tiny 5-inch person could be so completely formed. We could also see the miniature heart beating in it's chest as well as the brain and organs. The baby was moving more than ever during the ultrasound. She was constantly doing the bicycle kick like her Mom used to do!!! I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She lifted both arms above her head and then kicked her legs out and opened them and closed them. She was making little fists with her hands and tossing and turning. It brought tears to my husbands eyes. I asked the doctor if he could tell us the sex (I was about 15 weeks or so at the time) and he said, "Well, I could guess, but I'd rather send you to the experts at the perinatal group when you're at 20 weeks." "Please!" I pleaded with him. He began to move the ultrasound wand downwards, put on his glasses and took a long, hard look at the baby's "parts" and said, "Hmmm, welll, ahh, I'd rather not say. I might be wrong." I was sooo upset!!! I didn't want to keep pressuring him, so I just sighed and said, "Okay, doc. We can wait." Earlier that week at our exercise class, the doc told me that usually if it's a boy, you can tell right away on the ultrasound. He said that if we had a boy, we might get lucky and be able to tell on the day of our appointment with him. So I figured if it had been a boy that the doctor saw on the screen, he would have said something, but he didn't! I definitely couldn't see the boy part, and when I compared the ultrasound pics to ones I've seen online, I felt like I was looking at girl parts. I'm sooo anxious to find out!!! We visit the perinatal group on Nov. 12 for an anatomical screening, which not only determines the sex but also checks for structural abnormalities as well. I'll be 21 weeks along. The doc listened for the heart again via Doppler and sure enough, it was beating strongly. He said a normal range is between 120 and 160 bpms, or typically twice as fast as mommy's heart. Baby's heart was at about 132 bpms. Again, listening to the heart beat brought tears to both of our eyes. I can't describe the relief I feel when I'm 100% positive that baby is alive and moving around in there. The days between doctor's appointments seem to stretch on forever!
I finally felt the little duck moving! A little over a week ago, I was lying on my back on the bed, trying to go to sleep when I felt this tickling sensation going on inside my lower left abdominal area. It would last a few seconds and then disappear and then come back again. This went on for about 30 minutes I'd say, and kept me from sleeping for a while. I thought that it MIGHT be the baby, but I wasn't positive. I posted my experience on babycenter.com and was ecstatic to find out from other moms that it was definitely what the "fluttering" sensations of baby's kicks initially feel like. I was still a teeny bit skeptical until the next day came around and that tickling feeling came back again. This time it was more towards my right side and lasted even longer. I finally believed that the belly tickles were in fact baby quack doing her dance moves! Since then, baby usually likes to move when i'm lying down or leaning forward. I think I squish her whenever I try to bend over, because she never fails to start wiggling. It's actually quite cute! I think she's saying, "Gees, lady! I hardly have enough room in here to begin with, and you have to go bending over and making my house even smaller!" Every once in a while, baby kicks hard enough for her daddy to feel it. On the second or third day of me feeling her move, kent put his hand on my belly and kept it there for a while. I told him to push on it a bit, because i read that baby responds to touch. I could definitely feel the tickles but i didn't want to say anything to kent. I wanted him to feel for himself. I kept watching the expression on his face to see if it changed. After about the 5th time that baby moved, she let out a HUGE kick or punch and i watched kent's face go from calm and collected to being in disbelief. "Holy shit!" he exclaimed with saucer-sized eyes. "Oh my god! Was that the baby!?" I laughed and said that yes, that was in fact his little baby. It was such a great feeling. The baby hasn't kicked that hard for either of us since then, but I know it will happen sooner or later. I read that moms usually don't feel baby moving consistently until 20 some weeks or so. And the kicks still feel like tickles. On rare occasions, I'll feel a "pushing" sensation but it usually doesn't last for too long.
I'm going to rest my eyes for a bit.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Week 14 -- Day 1 !!
12:52 a.m. Well, well, well! I'm exactly 14 weeks today! I cannot believe it has been this long already. It feels like just yesterday when I found out I was pregnant. Since I last wrote, I've had one more prenatal visit, I've seen the baby in another ultrasound (in addition to the one I started writing about last time), I've heard the baby's heartbeat twice(!), and my stomach began stretching like crazy!!!
To finish off my last entry...
The doc and tech did an ultrasound that lasted about 10 minutes, more or less. Kent and I were in total awe at how big the baby had gotten. The ultrasound equipment was so much more high-tech than the one used at my OBs office. They had a huge plasma screen mounted on the wall in front of the exam table, so I was able to see the baby without having to look at the ultrasound machine. When the tech found the baby, the first thing we saw was its fully-formed face and head. I could not believe it had a profile already! --> After some more studying at home (we took home five beautiful ultrasound pics), I determined that the baby had my nose, Kent's chin and my forehead. Haha. I know the baby is still way too small to tell, but I thought it was fun to try. <---
The tech slowly moved the ultrasound wand over the rest of my belly and all of a sudden a little arm popped up and stretched over the baby's head. Then the other arm and two little legs extended. The baby did a full body stretch!!! I was speechless. As it was, I couldn't believe how big the baby had become, but I was not expecting to see her/him dancing around like that. The baby proceeded to move its head and little feet and hands and, at one point, it looked like it was waving at us. It was the most adorable thing I'd ever seen. It was doing aerobics! I can't even count how many times the baby moved its little body. The tech kept having to move the wand in order to keep up with him/her! The doctor said it was one of the more active baby's he's seen and the tech said he/she was very photogenic. Awww!
I felt so comforted knowing that my baby was alive and well and VERY active. I guess that's no surprise that it was moving a lot though. When I was a baby, I constantly moved my legs in a cycling motion and I sat up and walked at a very early age. Kent's mom also said that Kent moved around nonstop and got into everything as a little baby. She said he walked at a really early age as well. Uh oh! We're going to have a little monkey on our hands. At this point, I think I'd rather have a really active baby than a calmer one -- she/he will keep me busy all day -- but I bet you one year from now, I'm going to be thinking otherwise!
Sleepy time. I'll finish in a few hours. :)
To finish off my last entry...
The doc and tech did an ultrasound that lasted about 10 minutes, more or less. Kent and I were in total awe at how big the baby had gotten. The ultrasound equipment was so much more high-tech than the one used at my OBs office. They had a huge plasma screen mounted on the wall in front of the exam table, so I was able to see the baby without having to look at the ultrasound machine. When the tech found the baby, the first thing we saw was its fully-formed face and head. I could not believe it had a profile already! --> After some more studying at home (we took home five beautiful ultrasound pics), I determined that the baby had my nose, Kent's chin and my forehead. Haha. I know the baby is still way too small to tell, but I thought it was fun to try. <---
The tech slowly moved the ultrasound wand over the rest of my belly and all of a sudden a little arm popped up and stretched over the baby's head. Then the other arm and two little legs extended. The baby did a full body stretch!!! I was speechless. As it was, I couldn't believe how big the baby had become, but I was not expecting to see her/him dancing around like that. The baby proceeded to move its head and little feet and hands and, at one point, it looked like it was waving at us. It was the most adorable thing I'd ever seen. It was doing aerobics! I can't even count how many times the baby moved its little body. The tech kept having to move the wand in order to keep up with him/her! The doctor said it was one of the more active baby's he's seen and the tech said he/she was very photogenic. Awww!
I felt so comforted knowing that my baby was alive and well and VERY active. I guess that's no surprise that it was moving a lot though. When I was a baby, I constantly moved my legs in a cycling motion and I sat up and walked at a very early age. Kent's mom also said that Kent moved around nonstop and got into everything as a little baby. She said he walked at a really early age as well. Uh oh! We're going to have a little monkey on our hands. At this point, I think I'd rather have a really active baby than a calmer one -- she/he will keep me busy all day -- but I bet you one year from now, I'm going to be thinking otherwise!
Sleepy time. I'll finish in a few hours. :)
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Week 11 -- Day 3 or Week 12 -- Day 4
3:34 a.m. I can't sleep! I'm in so much pain right now. Yup, the back and neck pain has come back with a vengeance. I guess I was pain free for about a week. It was nice. I'm seeing my pain specialist tomorrow to figure out where to go from here. I have a few non-medication options. I also got the number to that acupuncturist that my OB recommended. I'm going to give her a call tomorrow and make an appointment. Of course I'm anxious about where to go from here, but I'm trying to not let it take over my life. I read this great quote from the Bible : Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day. (Matthew 6:34). Isn't that a great quote? I don't read the Bible but I found the quote written in a post on my Baby Center Web site. This poor woman had an ultrasound yesterday and the ultrasound tech noticed some fluid in the baby's neck fold -- a sign of possible Down syndrome. I can't imagine what that must be like. Anyway, the girl was saying that she was trying to pray and find reasoning behind all this. She said that the quote helps her to try and calm down. It can surely help me too!
I swear, I've been worrying about EVERYTHING since coming off of my meds. It's like I said, every emotion hits you 10x as much as you remember. Now I'm really feeling the pregnancy hormones running amuck. Today brought some potential great news though. I went in for my baby's sequential screening test for chromosomal abnormalities -- I decided I'd rather prepare for the worst than be surprised -- and the doctor said the baby's measurements of the neck (an indicator of Down syndrome like I mentioned earlier), were perfectly normal. A typical measurement has to be below 3 cm and our little duck's was 1 cm, I believe. In fact, the baby measured at 12 weeks and 4 days!!! The doctor was pretty sure that I was in fact 12 weeks and 4 days along and not 11 weeks and 3 days like I was told early on. 12 weeks and 4 days was what I would have been anyways if they hadn't changed my due date during my second prenatal visit. I also went to a different group this time for the sequential screening -- Texas Perinatal Group. I REALLY felt comfortable with the doctor I saw. He made a bigger impression on me in the 3 to 4 minutes that we spoke than my OB has in the 3 times that I've seen her. I'm not trying to be mean. I think my OB is a very nice lady, but she just seems too absent-minded. Okay guys, I'm getting sleepy now. I'll finish up in a few hours. G'night! :) Oh yeah, to finish off, I took a blood test and will have another blood test at 16 wks that will give me a better idea of my baby's chances for any abnormalities. From the measurements alone though, the doc didn't seem to think there would be any problems. Whew!
I swear, I've been worrying about EVERYTHING since coming off of my meds. It's like I said, every emotion hits you 10x as much as you remember. Now I'm really feeling the pregnancy hormones running amuck. Today brought some potential great news though. I went in for my baby's sequential screening test for chromosomal abnormalities -- I decided I'd rather prepare for the worst than be surprised -- and the doctor said the baby's measurements of the neck (an indicator of Down syndrome like I mentioned earlier), were perfectly normal. A typical measurement has to be below 3 cm and our little duck's was 1 cm, I believe. In fact, the baby measured at 12 weeks and 4 days!!! The doctor was pretty sure that I was in fact 12 weeks and 4 days along and not 11 weeks and 3 days like I was told early on. 12 weeks and 4 days was what I would have been anyways if they hadn't changed my due date during my second prenatal visit. I also went to a different group this time for the sequential screening -- Texas Perinatal Group. I REALLY felt comfortable with the doctor I saw. He made a bigger impression on me in the 3 to 4 minutes that we spoke than my OB has in the 3 times that I've seen her. I'm not trying to be mean. I think my OB is a very nice lady, but she just seems too absent-minded. Okay guys, I'm getting sleepy now. I'll finish up in a few hours. G'night! :) Oh yeah, to finish off, I took a blood test and will have another blood test at 16 wks that will give me a better idea of my baby's chances for any abnormalities. From the measurements alone though, the doc didn't seem to think there would be any problems. Whew!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Week 11 - Woah!
11:46 p.m. It's gloomy outside, much like my mood. It's been raining for about three days now. Lord knows we need it. We've had one of the hottest summers since 1925, and we've been in a drought for years now. The first day of rain was nice. The weather cooled down and our daily walks become more pleasant. Now I just wish it would stop. Poor Fran hates going outside! She doesn't like the wet grass for some reason. I find that strange since she loves the snow so much. Maybe she doesn't like to get mud on her shoes. Nobody likes mud on their shoes. And yes I said "shoes." That wasn't an accident. I like to personify my animals. They are and will always be my first babies.
Everyone is asleep right now -- Kent, Kikster, Mr.Haze, Melvin T. Cat and Frannie Bananie -- all dozed off. Maybe I should go to sleep too? Join the crowd.
Today marks the 11th week of my pregnancy. Not much is to be said of the way the baby is forming anymore. Her organs are completely formed, her limbs are there, her mouth, lips, eyes, eyelids, everything is hopefully all there and functional. Now it's baking time, if you want to go with the "bun in the oven" analogy. I should be happy right now but I'm plagued with doubt and worry. Have I done enough to help her form correctly? What if she turns out to be disabled? Will we be able to deal with that as parents? I stopped praying when I came out of my depression a couple of weeks ago, but I think it's time to start talking to God again. It helped me last time, and it can't hurt.
I've worried a lot about my relationship with Kent. He's starting to work nights and sleeps during the day. I feel like I don't see enough of him. Will I be able to handle it when he has to work five nights in a row? I hate sleeping in bed alone. I lie awake at night with my mind running at full speed. I'm so proud of Kent for what he has accomplished, and it's not up to him to make me happy. That, I have to do for myself. He's been SOO supportive of me as I go through my ups and downs, and for that I can't be more thankful, but I'm afraid he'll start to feel like I'm a drain on his already sapped energy. He's a good provider, a wonderful husband and shoulder to lean on, but he can't do everything. He can't ALWAYS be my entertainment, my source of income, my rock, my knight in shining armor -- it's not physically or emotionally possible. I will wear him thin. The upside is that when baby is born, he'll be here during the day to help out. I just hope he can get SOME sleep in then. A few hours at least.
I've been feeling like such a failure lately. What am I contributing to this marriage? It's near impossible to get a job now that I'm pregnant. My source of income -- editing transcripts -- has been SUPER slow. The court reporter broke her foot and hasn't been able to work much. I need to call her though. It's been about a week and I know she wanted to get back to work as soon as possible. I posted some ads on Craigslist and other job Web sites advertising my work, but no bites yet. I feel like I don't do much but sit around all day. I've been sucked into this never-ending cycle of fear and anxiety. It's hard to leave the house sometimes because I'm afraid of having a panic attack in the car. Even leaving to go for a walk gets my heart rate up. If I get a panic attack while walking, what if I have no where to escape? I know this will pass though. The wait is nerve-wracking. I don't know when or why I started having such a low self-esteem. I have my theories, my defining moments of when my life began to sink for me, but I can't say for sure. I used to be SO optimistic about everything. When I was knocked down, I got back up. When things became too rough, my adrenaline kicked in and I always trudged through. Now I'm afraid of success. If I succeed, will I be able to keep things going? It's so easy to stay the same, even if I know I could be doing more. Change is always something you can count on in life. Sometimes it happens without warning, other times you must change for yourself. I need to change my life. I can do anything I want in this world. Well, almost anything. I couldn't be a supermodel, but you know what I mean. I've been wanting to go to law school for quite sometime now. I want to be an animal welfare lawyer. I want to litigate animal cruelty, malpractice cases and the like. I want to advocate to get laws passed that protect animals and guarantee they have a voice -- they can't speak for themselves. I wanted to go to vet school initially. That was my whole reason for moving to Fort Collins. I worked at a vet clinic and the Colorado State Vet Hospital and saw the stress the vets were under, and I began to second guess myself and my career choice. Could I deal with the frantic clients when their pets were in life-threatening situations? Could I save more lives than not? My brain is always full of what-ifs, and could-I's, and will-I's.
One thing I am proud of right now is being able to get off of my medication without severe withdrawals. But now comes the hard part, and it's all mental. My pain receptors -- both physical and mental -- have been dulled for months. Everything that happened to me affected me in such a different way. I felt it, but not really, if that makes sense. My happiness was dulled, my sadness was dulled. I almost felt like a walking zombie. Now, I feel everything 10x as much as I used to. My receptors aren't used to feeling anymore, so every little thing bugs them. It sucks, sucks, sucks. At least writing about it helps some.
Kent is asleep right now -- I wish to God he was awake with me. Just having him awake and present lifts my spirits, but waking him from his much needed sleep would be cruel.
Right now I feel like I'm getting up just for the sake of the animals, the baby and Kent. Kent needs a wife to talk to and lean on when he needs to vent, animals need food and water, baby needs nutrition. What do I need? What can I do for myself and how do I break out of this cycle? Small steps. Baby steps.
I started going through papers today and making files. There's a HUGE stack of stuff in the office that I've been looking at and trying to ignore for the past few weeks. I'm proud I at least got started going through it.
I have what's called a sequential screening on Monday. It's basically an ultrasound combined with blood work that determines your risk of having a baby with Down syndrome. If your risk is higher, let's say 1 out of 300 as opposed to 1 out of 4,000, then they recommend amniocentesis or what's called a CVS test. The tests are invasive and have a small risk of miscarriage, but they can definitively tell you with 99% accuracy if your baby has any chromosomal abnormalities. My problem with the tests is this: What is there to be done if the baby DOES have some abnormality? Nothing. We can read books and prepare for what's to come when the baby is born, but other than that, there is nothing to be done. Do I want to ruin my pregnancy experience? Kent and I talked things over a few weeks ago and decided that we didn't want to test, but now I'm having second thoughts. The other thing is, if the risk is in between high and low, do I do a definitive test and risk miscarriage? There are just too many questions that have no answers. I think I may pass on it.
I have my third prenatal checkup in two weeks. We will be able to see what looks like a real baby! Baby is the size of a large lime now and will be much bigger in two weeks -- obviously. A friend of mine is co-owner of a place called Belly View Ultrasound in my hometown of Mcallen. They do 3-D ultrasounds so you can get a much more accurate picture of the baby. I want to do one already, but I think I should wait a few more weeks until the baby's features are more distinguishable.
We find out the sex in three weeks also. Will it be pink or blue? Football or ballet? Puppies or kittens? Haha. I guess I'm using typical gender assigned scenarios here. What if we have a football-loving girl who hates the color pink? Personally, the color pink makes me sick. It's too frilly. We agreed already that we will be open to whatever our child wants to do and experience as long as it's safe and healthy.
I hope I'm a good Mom. I KNOW Kent will be a great Dad. I hope I can become a better wife and partner. I hope I get out of this funk. Baby steps I tell ya.
Everyone is asleep right now -- Kent, Kikster, Mr.Haze, Melvin T. Cat and Frannie Bananie -- all dozed off. Maybe I should go to sleep too? Join the crowd.
Today marks the 11th week of my pregnancy. Not much is to be said of the way the baby is forming anymore. Her organs are completely formed, her limbs are there, her mouth, lips, eyes, eyelids, everything is hopefully all there and functional. Now it's baking time, if you want to go with the "bun in the oven" analogy. I should be happy right now but I'm plagued with doubt and worry. Have I done enough to help her form correctly? What if she turns out to be disabled? Will we be able to deal with that as parents? I stopped praying when I came out of my depression a couple of weeks ago, but I think it's time to start talking to God again. It helped me last time, and it can't hurt.
I've worried a lot about my relationship with Kent. He's starting to work nights and sleeps during the day. I feel like I don't see enough of him. Will I be able to handle it when he has to work five nights in a row? I hate sleeping in bed alone. I lie awake at night with my mind running at full speed. I'm so proud of Kent for what he has accomplished, and it's not up to him to make me happy. That, I have to do for myself. He's been SOO supportive of me as I go through my ups and downs, and for that I can't be more thankful, but I'm afraid he'll start to feel like I'm a drain on his already sapped energy. He's a good provider, a wonderful husband and shoulder to lean on, but he can't do everything. He can't ALWAYS be my entertainment, my source of income, my rock, my knight in shining armor -- it's not physically or emotionally possible. I will wear him thin. The upside is that when baby is born, he'll be here during the day to help out. I just hope he can get SOME sleep in then. A few hours at least.
I've been feeling like such a failure lately. What am I contributing to this marriage? It's near impossible to get a job now that I'm pregnant. My source of income -- editing transcripts -- has been SUPER slow. The court reporter broke her foot and hasn't been able to work much. I need to call her though. It's been about a week and I know she wanted to get back to work as soon as possible. I posted some ads on Craigslist and other job Web sites advertising my work, but no bites yet. I feel like I don't do much but sit around all day. I've been sucked into this never-ending cycle of fear and anxiety. It's hard to leave the house sometimes because I'm afraid of having a panic attack in the car. Even leaving to go for a walk gets my heart rate up. If I get a panic attack while walking, what if I have no where to escape? I know this will pass though. The wait is nerve-wracking. I don't know when or why I started having such a low self-esteem. I have my theories, my defining moments of when my life began to sink for me, but I can't say for sure. I used to be SO optimistic about everything. When I was knocked down, I got back up. When things became too rough, my adrenaline kicked in and I always trudged through. Now I'm afraid of success. If I succeed, will I be able to keep things going? It's so easy to stay the same, even if I know I could be doing more. Change is always something you can count on in life. Sometimes it happens without warning, other times you must change for yourself. I need to change my life. I can do anything I want in this world. Well, almost anything. I couldn't be a supermodel, but you know what I mean. I've been wanting to go to law school for quite sometime now. I want to be an animal welfare lawyer. I want to litigate animal cruelty, malpractice cases and the like. I want to advocate to get laws passed that protect animals and guarantee they have a voice -- they can't speak for themselves. I wanted to go to vet school initially. That was my whole reason for moving to Fort Collins. I worked at a vet clinic and the Colorado State Vet Hospital and saw the stress the vets were under, and I began to second guess myself and my career choice. Could I deal with the frantic clients when their pets were in life-threatening situations? Could I save more lives than not? My brain is always full of what-ifs, and could-I's, and will-I's.
One thing I am proud of right now is being able to get off of my medication without severe withdrawals. But now comes the hard part, and it's all mental. My pain receptors -- both physical and mental -- have been dulled for months. Everything that happened to me affected me in such a different way. I felt it, but not really, if that makes sense. My happiness was dulled, my sadness was dulled. I almost felt like a walking zombie. Now, I feel everything 10x as much as I used to. My receptors aren't used to feeling anymore, so every little thing bugs them. It sucks, sucks, sucks. At least writing about it helps some.
Kent is asleep right now -- I wish to God he was awake with me. Just having him awake and present lifts my spirits, but waking him from his much needed sleep would be cruel.
Right now I feel like I'm getting up just for the sake of the animals, the baby and Kent. Kent needs a wife to talk to and lean on when he needs to vent, animals need food and water, baby needs nutrition. What do I need? What can I do for myself and how do I break out of this cycle? Small steps. Baby steps.
I started going through papers today and making files. There's a HUGE stack of stuff in the office that I've been looking at and trying to ignore for the past few weeks. I'm proud I at least got started going through it.
I have what's called a sequential screening on Monday. It's basically an ultrasound combined with blood work that determines your risk of having a baby with Down syndrome. If your risk is higher, let's say 1 out of 300 as opposed to 1 out of 4,000, then they recommend amniocentesis or what's called a CVS test. The tests are invasive and have a small risk of miscarriage, but they can definitively tell you with 99% accuracy if your baby has any chromosomal abnormalities. My problem with the tests is this: What is there to be done if the baby DOES have some abnormality? Nothing. We can read books and prepare for what's to come when the baby is born, but other than that, there is nothing to be done. Do I want to ruin my pregnancy experience? Kent and I talked things over a few weeks ago and decided that we didn't want to test, but now I'm having second thoughts. The other thing is, if the risk is in between high and low, do I do a definitive test and risk miscarriage? There are just too many questions that have no answers. I think I may pass on it.
I have my third prenatal checkup in two weeks. We will be able to see what looks like a real baby! Baby is the size of a large lime now and will be much bigger in two weeks -- obviously. A friend of mine is co-owner of a place called Belly View Ultrasound in my hometown of Mcallen. They do 3-D ultrasounds so you can get a much more accurate picture of the baby. I want to do one already, but I think I should wait a few more weeks until the baby's features are more distinguishable.
We find out the sex in three weeks also. Will it be pink or blue? Football or ballet? Puppies or kittens? Haha. I guess I'm using typical gender assigned scenarios here. What if we have a football-loving girl who hates the color pink? Personally, the color pink makes me sick. It's too frilly. We agreed already that we will be open to whatever our child wants to do and experience as long as it's safe and healthy.
I hope I'm a good Mom. I KNOW Kent will be a great Dad. I hope I can become a better wife and partner. I hope I get out of this funk. Baby steps I tell ya.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Week 10 -- Day 5!!!
2:16 p.m. Wow! I'm about 2 weeks and some days before my second trimester. I cannot believe how much time flies. So much as happened since I last wrote. When I tell you, you'll understand why I've been M.I.A.
I was having a lot of back problems (again) and was trying to take it easy and lie down for a couple of days alternating between a heating pad and cold pack. I mentioned in a previous post that I had chronic pain from a car accident. I've been seeing a pain specialist here in Austin who put me on pain killers, which I've been taking for a few months now. Don't worry. Doc said it was totally safe for baby, and if you look it up on the internet, you will not find any evidence that it causes birth defects. The only issue was that I'd have to get off the medication about a month before birth so that the baby wouldn't suffer withdrawals. There is NO WAY IN HELL I was going to put my baby through that torment. Recently, I ran out of my medication and just decided to not go back for a refill. I quit...cold turkey. I tried weening off but it was just too easy to go right back to your medication when you started to feel any bit of withdrawals -- which include sweats, chills, severe anxiety attacks, irritability, body aches, restless leg syndromes, diarrhea (ugh), nausea, and sometimes vomiting. I've also been getting these weird "body buzzes" where you feel like your whole body is trembling inside. It's not pretty or fun.
Yesterday was my first day and I didn't do too bad. About 2 hours after what would have been my first dose, I started to feel shaky, sweaty yet cold, ANXIOUS AS HELL, and I couldn't sit still. I was pacing and pacing and making my poor husband nervous. I felt a bit nauseous but managed to eat some chicken soup and then got outside for some fresh air. I decided that if I didn't do something, I was going to spend the day pacing around the apartment, so I went shopping with Kent (groceries, home depot stuff, best buy stuff) and felt so much better. Later, we went out to dinner with my parents, which was also a smart choice for me. A part of me had to force myself to go though. I felt slightly sick inside but knew I couldn't sit still. It would drive me absolutely crazy.
This morning (day 2 -- it takes 3 days for your body to adjust to life without the meds) I woke up early -- about 6:30 -- ate, had some half-caff coffee and jumped in the shower. And all before 8 am. Wow! That is so unlike me to do that. It was like my body was just in this constant state of movement and I couldn't stop it.
--> Oh yeah, I've also been having TERRIBLE night sweats. I wake up at least 3 times a night so drenched in sweat and shivering that I have to change my clothes. It's as though I just jumped out of the shower. I'm not sure if it's too hot in that room and my body sweats, which in turn, the sweat on my body makes me cold, or if it's due to the lack of medication in my body. I'll have to experiment by sleeping in a cooler room.
Back to my day today -- So I woke up really early, packed some stuff, kissed my wonderful husband goodbye and off I went to my parents house. Kent is going to be working all day today (he had yesterday off) and I didn't want to be alone on what's considered the worst day of withdraw -- day 2. Day three is considered the easiest because the symptoms aren't as severe and you actually get into the mental state that you used to be in before your meds.
Honestly, although I feel awful physically, my mind is already coming out of my fog. It's amazing what medication alone can do you to you. I have to be on meds for my anxiety and bipolar and those actually help me, but pain meds just put you in this numb-like state. Happiness seems like it's coated with a film of plastic. I mean, it's there, but you can't quite grasp it. Does that make sense? Sadness and depression are there as well, but it makes you more quick to blame others. It's as though your guilty conscience disappears because your nerve receptors are so dead, so numb. And anxiety, wow. For me, the anxiety the medications caused was sometimes worse than the pain I would have without the meds. But I had to weigh the pros and cons. A day full of pain or a few hours of anxiety? I usually chose the anxiety, needless to say.
All in all, I feel emotionally and mentally great right now. I'm doing right by my parents, my husband and most importantly, my little baby. My doctors commended me and gave me the name of an acupuncturist who could help with the back pain. That's the one thing I never tried when I was looking for natural relief. I plan on seeing this person as soon as I can. I finally feel alive again. It's so hard to express in words.
My parents took Kent and I out to dinner yesterday. I had gone to the bathroom and on my way back, just the sight of my family interacting and laughing and looking content made me want to cry tears of joy. My happiness feels real. It's amazing. I am so proud of myself. I'm all smiles right now and so excited to be welcoming this baby into the world. Sure, I was excited before, but it's like I keep reiterating -- the joy in this world has really been hitting my heart and soul as if God's hand reached down and touched me.
Wow. That was some deep stuff! So about Baby Quack. She (or he, but again, I think it's a she) has popped out like a basketball! I'm showing so much (at least in my eyes) that at this rate, I'm going to look absolutely GI-NORMOUS by my 5 mth. I'm too small for that. Kent and I joked that the baby might grow up to be 6 feet tall and 200 lbs. Like I said, I'm 10 1/2 wks today. The baby has fingernails, fully formed organs (all of them), tiny ear buds, all of her joints are working and her arms and legs are constantly moving. By next week, the baby's boy or girl parts will descend and become externally visible. I still don't think they can tell the sex until the 20th week. Baby's eyelids are almost completely closed and her lips are are appearing. I should start to feel her kick within the next 4 weeks or so. I can't wait!
Physically, I'm doing better (minus the withdrawals). My emotional and mental state has ascended out of that horrible funk I was in. I've been happy and giggly and not quite so irritable (Kent my say differently!). I came down with bronchitis on Thursday and had a low-grade fever, TONS of mucus, terrible chills and aches and overall fatigue. I had to visit urgent care twice before they finally gave me antibiotics. Bunch of idiots I tell you. My ob/gyn said antibiotics were completely safe. The only reason I didn't visit her was because Kent was working and I was too damn dizzy from my sinus headache to drive the 30 minutes to my OB's office. I'm NEVER going back to that urgent care again. The doctor was pretty young and seemed like she had no clue what she was doing. I told her I had lots of phlegm, was coughing a lot and had bad sinus pressure and that I thought I had bronchitis or a sinus infection (this was the SECOND time I had visited her and had to explain to her again what my symptoms were). Anyway, as soon as I said I thought I had bronchitis/sinusitis, she says, "Oh yeah, bronchitis/sinusitis sure that's it. I'll give you a script." No joke. That's what she said. What a flake. I could have told the lady I had the freaking bubonic plague and she would have said, "Oh yeah, the bubonic plague. Sure. Here's some penicillin, or whatever the hell they use to treat that. *Sighs*
So that's what I've been up to the past week. I apologize for doing a disservice to my readers! I'll be sure to keep up.
In case you're wondering, Kent and I have been doing great. He's going to be such a great Papa. We got some more clothes for baby (we already have a huge plastic storage bin filled with clothes and a stuffed Eeyore and a baby blankie and ducky Galoshes) and I also have those two baby books I mentioned earlier. Oh yeah, and today my Mom bought some baby bath toys that squeak. They're all in the shapes of different sea animals. I think I'm gonna have more fun with those than baby!! So long guys!
I was having a lot of back problems (again) and was trying to take it easy and lie down for a couple of days alternating between a heating pad and cold pack. I mentioned in a previous post that I had chronic pain from a car accident. I've been seeing a pain specialist here in Austin who put me on pain killers, which I've been taking for a few months now. Don't worry. Doc said it was totally safe for baby, and if you look it up on the internet, you will not find any evidence that it causes birth defects. The only issue was that I'd have to get off the medication about a month before birth so that the baby wouldn't suffer withdrawals. There is NO WAY IN HELL I was going to put my baby through that torment. Recently, I ran out of my medication and just decided to not go back for a refill. I quit...cold turkey. I tried weening off but it was just too easy to go right back to your medication when you started to feel any bit of withdrawals -- which include sweats, chills, severe anxiety attacks, irritability, body aches, restless leg syndromes, diarrhea (ugh), nausea, and sometimes vomiting. I've also been getting these weird "body buzzes" where you feel like your whole body is trembling inside. It's not pretty or fun.
Yesterday was my first day and I didn't do too bad. About 2 hours after what would have been my first dose, I started to feel shaky, sweaty yet cold, ANXIOUS AS HELL, and I couldn't sit still. I was pacing and pacing and making my poor husband nervous. I felt a bit nauseous but managed to eat some chicken soup and then got outside for some fresh air. I decided that if I didn't do something, I was going to spend the day pacing around the apartment, so I went shopping with Kent (groceries, home depot stuff, best buy stuff) and felt so much better. Later, we went out to dinner with my parents, which was also a smart choice for me. A part of me had to force myself to go though. I felt slightly sick inside but knew I couldn't sit still. It would drive me absolutely crazy.
This morning (day 2 -- it takes 3 days for your body to adjust to life without the meds) I woke up early -- about 6:30 -- ate, had some half-caff coffee and jumped in the shower. And all before 8 am. Wow! That is so unlike me to do that. It was like my body was just in this constant state of movement and I couldn't stop it.
--> Oh yeah, I've also been having TERRIBLE night sweats. I wake up at least 3 times a night so drenched in sweat and shivering that I have to change my clothes. It's as though I just jumped out of the shower. I'm not sure if it's too hot in that room and my body sweats, which in turn, the sweat on my body makes me cold, or if it's due to the lack of medication in my body. I'll have to experiment by sleeping in a cooler room.
Back to my day today -- So I woke up really early, packed some stuff, kissed my wonderful husband goodbye and off I went to my parents house. Kent is going to be working all day today (he had yesterday off) and I didn't want to be alone on what's considered the worst day of withdraw -- day 2. Day three is considered the easiest because the symptoms aren't as severe and you actually get into the mental state that you used to be in before your meds.
Honestly, although I feel awful physically, my mind is already coming out of my fog. It's amazing what medication alone can do you to you. I have to be on meds for my anxiety and bipolar and those actually help me, but pain meds just put you in this numb-like state. Happiness seems like it's coated with a film of plastic. I mean, it's there, but you can't quite grasp it. Does that make sense? Sadness and depression are there as well, but it makes you more quick to blame others. It's as though your guilty conscience disappears because your nerve receptors are so dead, so numb. And anxiety, wow. For me, the anxiety the medications caused was sometimes worse than the pain I would have without the meds. But I had to weigh the pros and cons. A day full of pain or a few hours of anxiety? I usually chose the anxiety, needless to say.
All in all, I feel emotionally and mentally great right now. I'm doing right by my parents, my husband and most importantly, my little baby. My doctors commended me and gave me the name of an acupuncturist who could help with the back pain. That's the one thing I never tried when I was looking for natural relief. I plan on seeing this person as soon as I can. I finally feel alive again. It's so hard to express in words.
My parents took Kent and I out to dinner yesterday. I had gone to the bathroom and on my way back, just the sight of my family interacting and laughing and looking content made me want to cry tears of joy. My happiness feels real. It's amazing. I am so proud of myself. I'm all smiles right now and so excited to be welcoming this baby into the world. Sure, I was excited before, but it's like I keep reiterating -- the joy in this world has really been hitting my heart and soul as if God's hand reached down and touched me.
Wow. That was some deep stuff! So about Baby Quack. She (or he, but again, I think it's a she) has popped out like a basketball! I'm showing so much (at least in my eyes) that at this rate, I'm going to look absolutely GI-NORMOUS by my 5 mth. I'm too small for that. Kent and I joked that the baby might grow up to be 6 feet tall and 200 lbs. Like I said, I'm 10 1/2 wks today. The baby has fingernails, fully formed organs (all of them), tiny ear buds, all of her joints are working and her arms and legs are constantly moving. By next week, the baby's boy or girl parts will descend and become externally visible. I still don't think they can tell the sex until the 20th week. Baby's eyelids are almost completely closed and her lips are are appearing. I should start to feel her kick within the next 4 weeks or so. I can't wait!
Physically, I'm doing better (minus the withdrawals). My emotional and mental state has ascended out of that horrible funk I was in. I've been happy and giggly and not quite so irritable (Kent my say differently!). I came down with bronchitis on Thursday and had a low-grade fever, TONS of mucus, terrible chills and aches and overall fatigue. I had to visit urgent care twice before they finally gave me antibiotics. Bunch of idiots I tell you. My ob/gyn said antibiotics were completely safe. The only reason I didn't visit her was because Kent was working and I was too damn dizzy from my sinus headache to drive the 30 minutes to my OB's office. I'm NEVER going back to that urgent care again. The doctor was pretty young and seemed like she had no clue what she was doing. I told her I had lots of phlegm, was coughing a lot and had bad sinus pressure and that I thought I had bronchitis or a sinus infection (this was the SECOND time I had visited her and had to explain to her again what my symptoms were). Anyway, as soon as I said I thought I had bronchitis/sinusitis, she says, "Oh yeah, bronchitis/sinusitis sure that's it. I'll give you a script." No joke. That's what she said. What a flake. I could have told the lady I had the freaking bubonic plague and she would have said, "Oh yeah, the bubonic plague. Sure. Here's some penicillin, or whatever the hell they use to treat that. *Sighs*
So that's what I've been up to the past week. I apologize for doing a disservice to my readers! I'll be sure to keep up.
In case you're wondering, Kent and I have been doing great. He's going to be such a great Papa. We got some more clothes for baby (we already have a huge plastic storage bin filled with clothes and a stuffed Eeyore and a baby blankie and ducky Galoshes) and I also have those two baby books I mentioned earlier. Oh yeah, and today my Mom bought some baby bath toys that squeak. They're all in the shapes of different sea animals. I think I'm gonna have more fun with those than baby!! So long guys!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Week 9 -- Day 6
2:22 a.m. Yes, I know it's early. I can't sleep. I'm in too much pain and feel too sick. I came down with a cold/stomach flu yesterday and it's been awful! I'm going to make an appointment with the doc tomorrow (well, later on today actually) so she can give me some antibiotics and check on baby. I've been extremely nauseous and slightly more crampy than usual. My whole head is stuffed up and my throat feels like it's on fire. Summer colds are the worst. I hope I don't have the swine flu!!! I know, it's a long shot. Leave it to me to think I have swine flu, right? We're (pregnant women) are supposed to get flu shots but not until flu season comes around, and apparently, it's not flu season yet. I read somewhere that pregnant women are especially susceptible to swine flu, so they'll be the first demographic to get the vaccine. Problem is that the vaccine won't be ready until October at the earliest and I believe the flu season starts before then. All I know is that my women's clinic will be on the top of the list to get the vaccine. At least that's what my doc said. She probably tells everyone that!
I just heard a noise. I hope I didn't wake Kent. We slept on the pullout bed in the living room. I was way too hot in our bedroom. The air doesn't circulate very well back here. Usually I just sleep in shorts and no covers but that wasn't cutting it this time. I suppose it's because I'm sick. I don't have a fever yet, which is a good thing. I'm at a solid 98.6.
Did I mention that I sprained my right hand trying to open up a damn Snapple bottle? Yeah. It's really swollen and painful. I don't know why I've been so accident prone the past four years. I was NEVER that prone to getting hurt. It's like I turned into this extremely clumsy person for no reason. Being pregnant sure doesn't help either. The hormones that come with pregnancy relax your muscles and make you more limber but also more likely to sprain and strain muscles and ligaments. I think I still would have hurt my hand even if I wasn't pregnant. I swear this cap on the plastic Snapple bottle was soldered on. Not even Kent, an ex-military man, could get the bottle open. We tried all 12 of them and not a single one would budge. I had to resort to cutting the plastic open with a knife and then pouring the tea out into a glass. Kent wanted to take the bottles back to Wal-Mart but I initially thought that was silly. It wasn't until I drank two or three teas that I told my mom about the incident and she said it would have been a good idea to take them back. Oh well. I wrote a letter to the Snapple people and emailed it last night. I'm not typically one to do things like that -- complain -- but damn, if I were one of those sue-happy people, I would have taken these people to court for my sprained hand. I already thought it all out. I would visit the doctor and tell him/her that I sprained my hand trying to open a Snapple bottle. He would then take X-rays and conclude that my hand was indeed sprained. The manner in which I sprained it -- opening the bottle -- would be in my medical records. So there's some proof right there. Also, the date on which I visited the doctor would have been after the date of purchase (which would be on the receipt) so there's more evidence that the Snapple did it. Most importantly would be Exhibit A (Exhibits B and C are the doctor's notes and the receipt, respectively), the Snapple bottle. I would then demonstrate, using numerous people, that the bottle cannot be opened. Viola! There's my case. What do you all think? Very Seinfeld-esque huh? I would sue for reimbursement of the doctor's visit plus lost time and physical and emotional pain. I know, there's no emotional pain attached. Well, I did lose some days of writing my blog. I could factor that in? Anyway, bottom line is that I wrote a stern letter to the Snapple guys stating that their Snapple Peach Green Tea plastic bottles were unreasonably hard to open and that I had sprained my hand. I'm not fishing for any freebies (although it would be nice to get some free easy-to-open Snapple), I just want them to start making their plastic products more user friendly. I could have also blackmailed them, you know? Threatened to sue if they didn't give me $5000 or something? I wonder if they would have settled? Alright, enough fantasizing about easy money.
I'm feeling a lot better. It's been about an hour since I woke up. I started eating a chilled apple (I'm usually not one for chilled fruit but it tastes excellent right now) so maybe all I needed was some grub in my tummy. I might try and read my current book, Callisto, after I finish writing my blog. Or I might just do research about BQ. I love reading about what I'm making this week. I'm almost done making all of the organs and I'm beginning to form shoulder, elbow and other joints. I still can't get over how amazing it is that I can grow this life inside of me.
*Yawn* Goodnight (again) everyone.
I just heard a noise. I hope I didn't wake Kent. We slept on the pullout bed in the living room. I was way too hot in our bedroom. The air doesn't circulate very well back here. Usually I just sleep in shorts and no covers but that wasn't cutting it this time. I suppose it's because I'm sick. I don't have a fever yet, which is a good thing. I'm at a solid 98.6.
Did I mention that I sprained my right hand trying to open up a damn Snapple bottle? Yeah. It's really swollen and painful. I don't know why I've been so accident prone the past four years. I was NEVER that prone to getting hurt. It's like I turned into this extremely clumsy person for no reason. Being pregnant sure doesn't help either. The hormones that come with pregnancy relax your muscles and make you more limber but also more likely to sprain and strain muscles and ligaments. I think I still would have hurt my hand even if I wasn't pregnant. I swear this cap on the plastic Snapple bottle was soldered on. Not even Kent, an ex-military man, could get the bottle open. We tried all 12 of them and not a single one would budge. I had to resort to cutting the plastic open with a knife and then pouring the tea out into a glass. Kent wanted to take the bottles back to Wal-Mart but I initially thought that was silly. It wasn't until I drank two or three teas that I told my mom about the incident and she said it would have been a good idea to take them back. Oh well. I wrote a letter to the Snapple people and emailed it last night. I'm not typically one to do things like that -- complain -- but damn, if I were one of those sue-happy people, I would have taken these people to court for my sprained hand. I already thought it all out. I would visit the doctor and tell him/her that I sprained my hand trying to open a Snapple bottle. He would then take X-rays and conclude that my hand was indeed sprained. The manner in which I sprained it -- opening the bottle -- would be in my medical records. So there's some proof right there. Also, the date on which I visited the doctor would have been after the date of purchase (which would be on the receipt) so there's more evidence that the Snapple did it. Most importantly would be Exhibit A (Exhibits B and C are the doctor's notes and the receipt, respectively), the Snapple bottle. I would then demonstrate, using numerous people, that the bottle cannot be opened. Viola! There's my case. What do you all think? Very Seinfeld-esque huh? I would sue for reimbursement of the doctor's visit plus lost time and physical and emotional pain. I know, there's no emotional pain attached. Well, I did lose some days of writing my blog. I could factor that in? Anyway, bottom line is that I wrote a stern letter to the Snapple guys stating that their Snapple Peach Green Tea plastic bottles were unreasonably hard to open and that I had sprained my hand. I'm not fishing for any freebies (although it would be nice to get some free easy-to-open Snapple), I just want them to start making their plastic products more user friendly. I could have also blackmailed them, you know? Threatened to sue if they didn't give me $5000 or something? I wonder if they would have settled? Alright, enough fantasizing about easy money.
I'm feeling a lot better. It's been about an hour since I woke up. I started eating a chilled apple (I'm usually not one for chilled fruit but it tastes excellent right now) so maybe all I needed was some grub in my tummy. I might try and read my current book, Callisto, after I finish writing my blog. Or I might just do research about BQ. I love reading about what I'm making this week. I'm almost done making all of the organs and I'm beginning to form shoulder, elbow and other joints. I still can't get over how amazing it is that I can grow this life inside of me.
*Yawn* Goodnight (again) everyone.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Week 9 -- Day 4 Again
11:35 p.m. I bought a baby book yesterday called "The Going to Bed Book." It's a really cute bedtime story about the animals from Noah's Ark getting ready for bed. They take a bath and brush their teeth and exercise. I don't know why they exercise. Doing that before bed just gets you hyper. I'm going to tell BQ that you really shouldn't do that. Or I can just skip that part. Then they go to bed and turn out the lights and the boat rocks them to sleep. So cute!
I was gonna get a book called "The Belly Button Book" about a hippo finding his belly button, but I found that to be more of a book that you would read and then interact with your child. I also found another children's book called "If You Give A Cat A Cupcake" in one of our many boxes. It's in the "If You Give A Moose A Muffin" series. I love those books! I thought of a new one -- "If You Give A Dog A Donut"! In fact, I might just write that book and sell it to the other for a hefty sum. What do you all think? I would make a great children's author since I already have a youthful mind set in some aspects.
Kent and I read to BQ last night three or four times! I read to the baby this morning as well. We were already doing the voices too! It was great. I love it! So much fun. I'm gonna try and read and talk to the baby as much as possible. I read that it actually soothes the baby in the womb and after birth. The baby hears the reading and is reminded of the soothing feeling it got when you read to it in the womb. I've also read that you should listen to classical music. Not only is it good for baby but it's good for you as well. It can soothe savage beast. I personally prefer Mozart and Debussy to Beethoven. I like Claire de Lune. I also like Tchaikovsky. He did the Arabian Dance song from The Nutcracker. It's so exotic and mystic. Time to eat some lunchy lunchy.
I was gonna get a book called "The Belly Button Book" about a hippo finding his belly button, but I found that to be more of a book that you would read and then interact with your child. I also found another children's book called "If You Give A Cat A Cupcake" in one of our many boxes. It's in the "If You Give A Moose A Muffin" series. I love those books! I thought of a new one -- "If You Give A Dog A Donut"! In fact, I might just write that book and sell it to the other for a hefty sum. What do you all think? I would make a great children's author since I already have a youthful mind set in some aspects.
Kent and I read to BQ last night three or four times! I read to the baby this morning as well. We were already doing the voices too! It was great. I love it! So much fun. I'm gonna try and read and talk to the baby as much as possible. I read that it actually soothes the baby in the womb and after birth. The baby hears the reading and is reminded of the soothing feeling it got when you read to it in the womb. I've also read that you should listen to classical music. Not only is it good for baby but it's good for you as well. It can soothe savage beast. I personally prefer Mozart and Debussy to Beethoven. I like Claire de Lune. I also like Tchaikovsky. He did the Arabian Dance song from The Nutcracker. It's so exotic and mystic. Time to eat some lunchy lunchy.
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